What is "Body Count"?

What does “body count” mean?

“Body count” is slang for how many sexual partners you’ve had. The term “body count” has become popular on TikTok as a synonym for “sexual partners” or how many people a person has slept with. However, not everyone defines “sexual partners” the same way. Lots of people use "body count" to refer to traditional vaginal sex, but others use the term more loosely to refer to anyone they've had a sexual experience with.

Traditionally, "body count” refers to the number of people killed in a casualty. Historically, the term “body count” refers to people who died in a specific situation, such as a war or natural disaster.

What is the TikTok body count trend?

Popular videos show people interviewing others about body count. They might ask what body count is too high or ideal, or ask interviewees what their own body count is. Interviewees may be strangers or friends, who may answer honestly or beat around the bush. This TikTok from @viewsfromsix8 shows a person asking others how high of a body count is a dealbreaker. Some Tiktoks take a fun, casual approach to body count, like this parody from @bieberfever85, which says, "If you reply to her stories, that's a body." Others get a little more reflective and dive into the complexities of what counts as "sex," or explore if/why body count actually matters, like in this Tiktok from user @masculineplanet. Occasionally, Tiktokers jokingly answer with a high number, only to follow up with something along the lines of, “...We’re talking about people I’ve killed, right?” ????

What is a “good” body count?

There’s no such thing as a “right” or “wrong” body count! As long as you’re having safe sex with full consent on the part of everyone involved, it’s all good! It's also totally fine to abstain from sex, if that's what you want. As Moore cautions, “Remember that sex is about you and not about getting someone else to like you. If you find yourself engaging in risky behavior sexually, stop and ask yourself why. Are you trying to win someone’s approval, get back at your parents or deal with your emotions by distracting via sex?” It’s hard to resist societal pressure to have sex or not (or to lie about how many partners you’ve had), but at the end of the day, your sexual experiences are your own, and you don't have to discuss them if you don't want to. The only person’s opinion and happiness that matters is yours (and anyone you have sex with!).

The “right” body count for you is whatever feels right. “Sex is a part of life and it can be fun and exciting,” Moore says, “but . . . you want to make sure you exercise caution and think long-term, not just in the moment.” According to the CDC, between 2014 and 2019 the average number of sexual partners for women was 4.3, and for men it was 6.3; however, these numbers don't represent what anyone "should" aspire to, and if your body count is higher or lower than average, it's totally fine. “[O]ne of the most important things is to first focus on health and safety,” she continues. “[T]hat might be having a conversation with your doctor about birth control methods, ensuring you use protection, [or] having a conversation with your sexual partner(s) about safe sex.” Moore also advises “practic[ing] self-pleasure” before engaging in sex with partners: “Knowing your own body and what you enjoy is a great thing to learn as a teenager so you are empowered in your sex life from a young age to honor your body and ask for what you want.”

How to Reply to “What’s Your Body Count?”

It’s up to you: answer, or tell the asker it’s none of their business! At the end of the day, sex is a private and personal matter—but “private” doesn’t equate to shameful. Feel free to be open about how many or few partners you’ve had, but don’t feel like you need to. You really only need to discuss past sexual experiences with your doctor and future partners for health purposes, and disclosing your exact body count is rarely necessary. If someone asks for your body count, try replying, “I’d rather not talk about that,” "Ten. You?" “None, what of it?” If a current sexual or romantic partner is curious about your past experiences, you might answer as a means not only of disclosing any necessary health information, but as a way of building trust and getting to know one another better. That said, don’t let anyone shame you for how many or few partners you’ve had—it has no bearing on your worth.