In this article, we will share some tips to reconnect with your partner and make this the most memorable holiday season yet.
So here we are again, another holiday season upon us. Between shopping for gifts, planning new year parties, travelling to visit family, and a never-ending social calendar, your stress levels are through the roof. All those extra to-dos make you too tired for intimacy with your partner and before you know it, you’ve gone weeks without any action. The good news is that it’s possible to avoid falling into a seasonal sex slump. With a little planning and the right mindset, you can keep your spark alive no matter how crazy things get over the next few weeks.
How the Hustle and Bustle of Holidays Can Affect Your Sex Drive
The holidays bring a barrage of emotional and mental stressors that can negatively impact your sex drive and arousal. Between budgeting for gifts, preparing for guests, and navigating family dynamics, your mind is focused on everything but intimacy. Exhaustion is also a mood killer, and with so many late nights, you’re probably too tired for sex.
Stress also causes hormonal changes that can reduce libido, like decreased testosterone in men and estrogen in women. High cortisol, the “stress hormone”, constricts blood flow to arousal centres in the brain and genitals. No wonder you’re just not in the mood!
The constant go-go of the holidays also makes it tough to slow down and connect with your partner. Cuddling, foreplay and meaningful conversations get pushed aside in Favor of checking off to-do lists. But intimacy is what fuels your sex drive, so make reconnecting a priority. With some conscious effort, you can minimize the negative impacts of holiday stress and keep your sex life going strong.
Creative Ways to Make Time for Intimacy This Holiday Season
The holidays can be rough on your sex life. Between shopping, parties, family events, and work obligations, alone time with your partner may seem impossible. But don’t give up — you can still prioritize intimacy this season with some creativity.
- Change up your routine: Break out of the routine by getting frisky in the morning before the kids wake up, or on your lunch break while they’re at school. A quickie on the living room couch or in the shower can add some excitement when time is short.
- Give each other massages: A sensual massage is a great form of intimacy that can lead to sex but doesn’t have to. Use scented oil and take your time exploring each other’s bodies. Even a short 10–15-minute massage can help you reconnect and release tension.
- Sext to build anticipation: Send flirty texts during the day to express how attractive you find your partner and how much you’re looking forward to being alone together. Describe specific things you want to do to them. This builds sexual tension so that when you do find time for sex, you’ll be all over each other.
- Make the most of date nights: If you do get an evening out together without the kids, don’t fill it up with errands and chores. Do something romantic like going out for a nice dinner, seeing a show, or just staying in and cooking a meal at home. Make connecting with your partner the priority. Spending quality time together will make you both value your intimate moments even more.
- Schedule sex dates with your partner: Put sex on the calendar just like you would any other important event. Plan at least one or two sex dates each week, like Saturday morning or Tuesday night. Let your partner know in advance that you’ve blocked out time just for the two of you. This builds anticipation and ensures that other obligations won’t get in the way.
Talking to Your Partner About Your Sexual Needs This Christmas
Christmas will be over before you know it, so follow the mentioned steps to prevent your sex life from becoming another source of stress.
- Have an honest conversation about how the extra stress and obligations are affecting your intimacy. Share how the lack of alone time makes you feel and listen to your partner’s perspective as well. Compromise by coming up with a plan to prioritize your relationship in small ways, like going to bed 30 minutes early a couple of nights a week or cooking a meal at home instead of attending another holiday party.
- Discuss specific ways you each like to be intimate and set aside time for those activities. Maybe giving each other massages, taking a shower together or engaging in foreplay are options when intercourse isn’t possible. Be open to experimenting with new forms of intimacy to spice things up.
- Don’t be afraid to schedule sex. While it may seem unromantic, booking time for physical intimacy ensures it happens. Treat your scheduled sex dates like any other important event by preparing ahead of time and avoiding distractions like phones or TV.
With honest communication and compromise, you can maintain a healthy physical connection with your partner all season long. Make time for intimacy with your partner, communicate openly about your challenges and desires, limit alcohol and set some boundaries. The holidays will be over before you know it, so stay focused on what really matters – your health, happiness and connection with loved ones. Keep the spark alive and you will start the new year off right, feeling recharged, reconnected and ready to take on whatever comes next. The stress will fade, but the memories you make together will last for years to come. Stay cosy, stay playful and most of all, stay present with each other. The rest can wait until the decorations come down!
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