100+ Pickle Jokes, Puns & One-Liners That You’ll Relish
100+ Pickle Jokes, Puns & One-Liners That You’ll Relish
Sweet, spicy, salty, or sour, pickles make the perfect punchline for a variety of jokes and one-liners. In this article, we’ve jarred up the funniest pickle jokes and puns to get the giggles going (and leave you craving more). Ready to crunch into a world of pickle humor? Read on!
Dill-lightful Pickle Jokes: Top Picks

Pickle Dad Jokes

Drop a briny dad joke to pickle your funny bone. Whether you prefer dill, half-sour, bread and butter, or gherkins, there’s a pickle—and pickle-related joke—for everybody! Here are some briny and brilliant dad jokes to keep in your back pocket: What do you call a genius pickle? A brine-iac. How do pickles enjoy a day out? They relish it. Where do pickles go on dates? The salad bar! Why do gherkins giggle a lot? They’re picklish! Who is a pickle’s celebrity crush? Picolas Cage. What’s green and swims in the sea? Moby Pickle. Why do pickles wear glasses? They’re legally brined. Why did the pickle blush? It saw the salad dressing! What is a pickle’s favorite type of workout? Crunches. When can you put pickles in the door? When it’s ajar! What business does a smart pickle open? A dilly-catessen. What’s cold, green, and hangs from the roof? An ice-pickle! What woodwind instrument do cucumbers play? A pickle-o! What do you call a pickle who is a bad loser? A sour pickle! Why are pickles in sandwiches so polite? They’re well-bread! What do you say to a pickle in the morning? “Rise and brine!” What did the pickle say to the lemon? “I relish our time together.” Why are bananas better than pickles? Because they have a-peel. Why did the cucumber need a lawyer? Because it was in a pickle! What’s crunchy, green, and lives in an aquarium? A trop-pickle fish! What happens when you confuse chutney and pickles? You chuckle. What did one cucumber seed say to the other? “We’re in a bit of a pickle.” What did the pickle say to the cucumber? “Come on in, the water’s brine!” What would happen if you got vinegar in your ear? A case of pickled hearing. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience! Why did the gherkin go to school? Because it wanted to be a pickle of all trades! Why shouldn’t you shoot pool using a pickle? Because you’ll find the cue-cumbersome. Why did Costco stop selling 5-gallon jars of pickles? Shelving them was cucumbersome. What did the pickle do when it won the championship? He just stood there to relish the moment. What’s the difference between a pickle and a therapist? If you don’t know, you should stop talking to your pickle! How are a bunch of soon-to-be pickles and a heavy pool stick similar? You either have some cucumber or a cumbersome cue.

Dill Pickle Jokes

These sharp and snappy pickle jokes are kind of a big dill. Crunchy, briny, and full of flavor, dill pickles are the perfect subject for a plethora of jokes. Here are some silly options you’ll absolutely relish in: Who’s a pickle’s favorite artist? Salvador Dilli. What is a pickle’s favorite show? Dill or no Dill. What do you call a pickle doctor? A dill pusher. Where is the Liberty Dill found? In Phila-dill-phia. Where do pickles go to buy a car? The dillership. What’s a pickle’s favorite book? To Dill a Mockingbird. What’s a pickle’s life philosophy? Never a dill moment. What’s a pickle’s favorite type of fish? A dill-icious one! What did the arrogant pickle say? “I’m kind of a big dill.” What’s a dill pickle’s favorite holiday song? Dill the Halls! What do you say to a pickle that’s freaking out? “Just dill.” On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on? Vlasic rock. What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards? Dill ‘em in. Why are pickles so cool about everything? They just dill with it! What do you call a pickle you buy at a great price? A sweet dill. What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road? Road dill. What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods? A hill-dilly. Where’s a pickle’s favorite place to go in London? Pickle-dilly Square. What did one dill pickle say to the other at the gym? “Let’s get shredded!” What do you call a pickle that always knows the score? A dill-igent observer. What do you call a pickle that always cares for its work and duties? Dill-igent! Did you hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower? What a daff-o-dill! Why do dill pickles make great detectives? They always know how to get out of a pickle! Why do dill pickles make great comedians? They know how to give you that classic crunchline! What did the pickle say when he walked into the casino and sat down at the card table? “Dill me in.”

Pickle Jokes for Kids

Make everyone laugh with these fresh and kid-friendly pickle jokes. Looking for a pickle joke for your real-life baby gherkin? These kid-friendly jokes are sweet, sour, and sure to get the giggles going: What is green and flies? Super Pickle! What’s a pickle’s favorite sport? Pickleball! What’s green and has 2 wheels? A motorpickle. What is green and pecks at trees? Woody Wood-pickle. What’s a baby cucumber’s favorite toy? Pickle Me Elmo. What’s a baby gherkin’s favorite TV channel? Pickleodeon. When did the pickle cross the road? Because it was green. How do you make a pickle laugh? You tell it a dill-ightful joke! Why are pickles so jealous? They are always green with envy. What do you call a pickle lullaby? A cucumber slumber number. How do you know if a pickle is happy? It’s all smiles…no spears! What did the pickle say to the cat? Nothing. Pickles can’t talk, silly! What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator? A crocodill. What’s red, green, and guides Santa’s sleigh? Rudolph the red-nosed pickle! What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons? You dill with it. What’s black, white, green, black, and white? Two skunks fighting over a pickle. Why do pickles hate running races? Because they always get bread and buttered! What did the hamburger say to the pickle when they met? “You are absolutely dill-icious.”

Pickle Puns

Relish in these dill-lightful pickle puns and one-liners. If there’s an opportunity to incorporate pickle-related humor into your daily conversation, take it! The following lines put a sweet and salty spin on classic phrases and idioms you love. Here are some dill-lightful options: Let’s make a dill. You are such a dill-light. Dill me in on the details. Brine your own business! I’m dill-lighted to meet you. It’s time to dill with the facts. Brine over matter every time. That’s a tough dill to swallow. Pickle it up! We’re running late. Hey you, you’re kind of a big dill! Don’t forget to relish the moment! You brine so much joy into my life. I’m feeling totally spear-itual today. That one condition is a dill-breaker. Dill you believe it? I found the answer! You mean the whole brine world to me. Quit gherkin around and get back to work! I can’t pickle a favorite—they’re all so good! Why don’t you pickle someone your own size? Cucumber is one vegetable that is always in a pickle. I had to choose between a gherkin and Vlasic. I was in a dill-emma. A gas station was selling pickles two-for-one—it was the dill of the day. I once tripped on a pickle. I’m over it now, but it was a big dill at the time. I watched a documentary last night about how pickles are made. It was jarring. I accidentally dropped a pickle in my Hawaiian punch. I guess it’s trop-pickle now! Every day, the pickle sees a green vegetable at the jar who is always waiting for his turn. It must be a queue-cumber. Brining pickles makes them last much longer than fresh cucumbers, but packing them in an air-tight container—that’s what really seals the dill.

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