6 Signs Will Help You Spot A Dismissive Avoidant Partner

Attachment styles play a significant role in our relationships and can greatly impact our overall well-being. Understanding these styles can help us navigate the complexities of human connection. Jessica Da Silva, therapist and attachment coach, explains one particular attachment style through a social media post titled, How to Spot a Dismissive Avoidant. People with this style tend to be emotionally distant, avoid vulnerability, and struggle with intimacy. Recognising these traits early on can help you navigate the complexities of a relationship with a dismissive avoidant individual. So let’s delve into some of the signs Jessica highlighted, aiming to enhance our understanding of this common struggle.

• Surface Level ConversationsA dismissive-avoidant individual tends to keep conversations light and superficial, steering clear of personal or emotional topics. They may choose to discuss unimportant matters or engage in small talk rather than delving into deeper, more meaningful discussions. This avoidance of emotional intimacy serves as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from vulnerability.
• Diversion with Humor or SarcasmWhen faced with vulnerable or emotionally charged topics, dismissive avoidants often resort to deflecting them with humor or sarcasm. By using wit or making light of serious matters, they create a shield to avoid opening up and maintain a sense of control over their emotions.
• Emphasizing Independence and Self-RelianceDismissive avoidants often take great pride in their independence and self-sufficiency. They may highlight their ability to handle things on their own and resist relying on others for support. They perceive their self-reliance as a strength, which can sometimes manifest as emotional detachment from others.
• Difficulty with Making Future PlansDismissive avoidants often struggle with making concrete future plans, especially those that involve long-term commitments. They may exhibit a sense of aversion or resistance to discussing or envisioning a shared future, preferring to live in the present moment rather than thinking ahead.
• Prioritising Personal NeedsSelf-preservation is a significant aspect of dismissive-avoidant behavior. They tend to prioritise their own needs and personal space over the needs of others. This can sometimes lead to a sense of emotional distance and an unwillingness to fully invest in relationships.
• Slow Pace in Developing RelationshipsDismissive avoidants tend to take things very slowly when it comes to building intimate connections. They may be cautious about opening up, hesitant to engage in commitments, and prefer to keep relationships at a surface level. This measured approach allows them to maintain control and minimise the risk of emotional entanglement.

By recognising these signs, you can gain insights into their attachment style and better navigate relationships with them. Remember, understanding and open communication are crucial for building healthy connections, regardless of attachment styles.