Beverly Hills: Three time's the charm - if that's not the wrong word for Ricky Gervais' third year as scathing steward of the Golden Globes. Here are his best witticisms at the Globes.
"They're ridiculously gorgeous specimens, they're extremely talented and probably very interesting." (Gervais introduced presenters Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek)
"It was great having a job that allowed you to get drunk and say whatever you wished and still get paid."
"Nervous? Don't be. Tonight you get Britain's biggest comedian, hosting the world's second-biggest awards show on America's third-biggest network." He corrected himself: "It's fourth."
"The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton - a bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought - allegedly."
"I love that show (Boardwalk Empire). It's about a load of immigrants who came to America about a hundred years ago, and they got involved in bribery and corruption and worked their way up into high society. But enough about the Hollywood Foreign Press."
He described Madonna as "just like a virgin," then erupted with a theatrical cough.
Madonna fired back, "If I'm still just like a virgin, Ricky, then why don't you come over here and do something about it?" She paused. "I haven't kissed a girl in a few years - on TV."
He explained he had been warned by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association that were he to insult anyone on hand, or "offend any viewers, or cause any controversy whatsoever - they'll definitely invite me back next year as well."
"It's going well, isn't it? You're so much better than last year's audience".
Reality star's Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage was longer than many acceptance speeches by "Avatar" director James Cameron.
And Gervais gave Foster the giggles when he quipped that he been told not to mention fallen movie star Mel Gibson "and especially not Jodie Foster's 'Beaver'... I haven't seen it myself but that doesn't mean it's not any good."
The Hollywood Foreign Press, he said "do an awful lot for charity and they're a nonprofit organization. Just like NBC."
"Hope you enjoyed the champagne and the goodie bag and the gold (sprinkled on the dessert). Hope it took your mind off the recession."
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