- “Storge” is the Greek word for familial love, or the love between parents and children. You can also feel storge for your community, or even inanimate objects.
- Storge is based on a sense of belonging, familiarity, and community. It tends to develop and deepen over time as you get to know the other person.
- Practice storge by spending quality time with your family and friends, or expressing you gratitude to them to let them know you appreciate their company.
What is storge?
Storge (store-jay) refers to familial love. Storge is one of the Greek variations of love, which describe different aspects of love, or ways to love other people. Most often, storge is described as the love shared between parents and their children. More generally, it describes a bond created through dependency or familiarity. You might feel storge for your siblings or even your more distant relatives. Storge might also be described as a love for your community. You might feel storge in a setting like a club, social group, or even with your roommates. At its core, it’s a sense of belonging. Storge also extends to pets or even inanimate objects! We often feel a sense of responsibility for these, or the feeling that they depend on us, which is another aspect of storge.
Showing Storge
Spend quality time with your family and friends. Storge often happens passively and develops over time, where other forms of love might be more active or intentional. This means you don’t always have to put a whole lot of effort into it; it grows just by sharing companionship with the people around you. Enjoy your family life by scheduling an evening where you cook dinner for them, plan an outing with them, or even just sit around and enjoy some good conversation. The storge will come naturally! The same goes for your friends. Practicing storge with the people you love is as easy as hanging out and enjoying their company, which deepens your sense of belonging and familiarity.
Show gratitude to the people around you. Saying “Thank you” to someone reminds both of you that your relationship is built on a mutual give-and-take, and that you depend on each other. Storge is all about that ability to depend on your parents, family, friends, and community. So next time you see someone you feel storge for, don’t hesitate to show your gratitude. Say “Thank you” for something they did for you recently, something they gave you, or even just for being part of your life. Let the people in your life know you're grateful for them by sending them cards with handwritten notes, or performing simple favors for them, like washing the dishes or cooking dinner. These little acts of love deepen and strengthen your relationships.
Participate in community events. Since storge is sometimes described as a sense of belonging or community, you might foster it by finding places where you feel you belong. You don’t need to be related by blood to feel and express storge—at its heart, it’s really a feeling of companionship, or knowing that others rely on you, and that you rely on others. Volunteer at a food bank to get to know your community better, or join a club like an intramural sports team to help you feel like you’re a part of a whole. Alternatively, start a book club, volunteer at your local library, or even just hit your favorite cafe for trivia night! Whatever you do, fostering that familiarity and getting to know the people around you is key.
Strive to be a good role model to your peers. When you love another person, you want to push them to be the best they can be be, and you want them to do the same for you. One way to show that platonic love is by being a role model. You don’t have to be the pinnacle of perfection—just act the way you want others to act, and they’ll often follow your lead. For example, mind your manners, try not to raise your voice, or just take the initiative to do the little things that need doing. Your family and friends will take note! Try to be a role model to your younger relatives, especially. Your younger siblings, cousins, or nieces and nephews tend to mimic the people they admire, and your behavior now can give them a lasting and valuable reference point for how to live their own lives.
Storge in the Bible
Storge is vital to living a full Christian life. Christians believe that God loves his creation in many ways, and one of those ways is through storge. Storge is what connects God to his followers, and what connects his followers to each other. When you show storge to your family or neighbors, you’re participating in one of the many forms of God’s love. Storge is also important when building a community of faith where each follower depends on their peers to help guide them and follow God’s teachings. Show storge to your fellow Christians by offering prayers for them or helping each other through turbulent periods of faith. It’s also important to forgive them when they hurt you, to help keep the community of faith strong.
Storge appears in the ten commandments. In Exodus 20:12, the fifth commandment reads as, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” This commandment reminds believers that storge often involves a parental relationship, and that one way to practice it is to show respect to your parents. This respect mirrors the love and respect Judeo-Christians have toward God.
God expresses storge for mankind in Isaiah 49:15. Here, God says, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the son of her womb? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” He compares his love for his creation to the love a mother feels for her child. This is a strong example of the familial dynamic of storge.
Paul tells believers to practice storge in Romans 12:10. In this passage, he says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Here, Paul tells his fellow Christians to treat their fellow believers with familial or familiar love. After all, the church is one big community, and a sense of belonging to a community is a major aspect of storge.
The opposite of storge appears in Romans 1:13. This word, “astorgos,” translates as “unloving” or “without natural affection.” Paul the apostle uses it to describe those who’ve given up on God. While the word “storge” itself doesn’t actually appear in the Bible, the mention of “astorgos” reminds readers that they should strive to have positive relationships with their family, just like they have a relationship with God.
Other Greek Variations of Love
Agape (aga-pay) is selfless love. With agape, the love comes from a sense of duty to love other people without wanting anything in return. You can feel agape for anything and everything, and in fact, it’s sometimes referred to as “universal love,” or “altruism.” Agape is the force that makes you smile and wave at strangers, or tell someone on the street to have a good day—you want the best for them, even if you don’t know them. In the Bible, agape is used to describe the way that the Judeo-Christian God loves his followers, and the way they love him. It’s unconditional and infinite. Agape is different from storge, since storge requires some amount of familiarity, while you can feel agape for anyone, regardless of your relationship.
Eros (eh-ros) refers to romantic love. It also refers to sexual attraction, desire, or passion. In Greek mythology, eros was almost like a sort of madness caused by cupid’s arrows. Today, we think of it more in terms of the connection between romantic lovers. In romantic relationships, eros often occurs first, then makes way for storge as the partners spend more time together. That doesn’t mean eros goes away, though—the two can coexist!
Philia (fill-ee-uh) is love between friends. Think of the fondness you feel for your best friend. You’re always excited to see them, and you just “get” each other. That’s philia! Philia is a platonic (or non-sexual) bond you share with like-minded people. That said, you might also feel it for your romantic partner—the forms of love are always mingling and mixing! Philia is similar to but distinct from storge. Often, you choose the people who you become friends with—you share interests, admire their personality, etc. With storge, the connection has more to do with time and familiarity, regardless of whether you choose to be around that person.
Ludus (loo-duss) is playful love. Ludus is also described as flirtatious love, seduction, or affection without commitment. It’s similar to eros, but eros often results in a long-term commitment, while ludus is short-term. It focuses on fun and enjoyment in the moment, rather than serious or lasting bonds.
Pragma (prag-muh) is dutiful love. Other forms of love are sometimes irrational or deeply emotional, but pragma tends to be based on reason. You feel pragma when you join forces with another person to accomplish a goal, or “make it work.” For example, a married couple might feel pragma as they work together to raise kids or make a life together. It’s rooted in a sense of responsibility rather than physical or emotional attraction.
Mania (main-ee-uh) is obsessive love. Mania, unlike the other forms of love, tends to be unhealthy. It’s described as an intense obsession or jealousy for another person. Often, mania starts as one of the other forms, like eros or philia, but over time intensifies and becomes harmful. Note that mania is also the word for a specific medical condition. In medicine, mania is when a person has sporadic periods of high energy or intense mood changes, and is often a symptom of other conditions, like bipolar disorder.
Philautia (fill-aw-tee-uh) is self-love. Self-love is a vital form of love, but it does require some discipline! A healthy amount of self-love leads to positive self-esteem and confidence. An unhealthy sort of self-love, however, leads to hubris, pretentiousness, or pridefulness. Remember: loving yourself is always important. Just be careful not to get carried away!
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