- Visitations in dreams are believed to be a deceased loved one’s attempt at reaching out to you. They’re vivid, sometimes lucid dreams that involve interacting with a loved one.
- If you have a visitation dream, it may mean you’re struggling with grief or trauma, dealing with stress, or facing a big milestone in your life and wishing for guidance.
- Cope with dream visitations by journaling about them after waking up. Talk to a trusted friend about your dream, or get a therapist’s help if the dreams unsettle you.
What are visitations in dreams?
In visitation dreams, you may see or speak to a deceased loved one. However, it’s believed that visitation dreams are actually messages sent to you by your loved one. In other words, they don’t just make a passive appearance; they have something specific to tell you (like advice or a warning). Visitation dreams can happen anytime, though you may be more likely to have them while grieving a loved one or going through a major life transition. Anyone (or anything) may visit you in your dreams if they were a significant presence in your life—from a relative (like a grandmother or great-uncle) to a dear friend or even a beloved pet. Keep in mind that the idea of dreams carrying messages from deceased loved ones isn’t verified medically or scientifically. Rather, it’s a spiritual belief that some embrace and others don’t. Psychologists and grief counselors often see visitation dreams as evidence of a person’s grief (but not necessarily as spiritual communication).
Characteristics of a Visitation Dream
Visitation dreams are thought to be extremely vivid and memorable. Did the dream feel like it was happening in real life, with eerily clear details? Visitation dreams are believed to be more “real” than the average dream, so it might feel like you’re really with your deceased loved one again in the flesh—down to their usual scent when they were alive. For example, if you wake up asking yourself whether you were just dreaming (because it all seemed so real), you likely had a visitation dream. Visitation dreams are also thought to be more memorable than the average dream. Because they’re so vivid, you may be able to picture them clearly for a long time after having them.
Deceased loved ones communicate clearly in visitation dreams. Though they may not always speak verbally, visitation dreams are always believed to feature clear communication with your loved one. They may speak, appear to communicate telepathically, or simply convey a message with their facial expression or actions—but regardless, the message they convey is supposedly easy to understand. For example, if you saw your grandmother in a visitation dream, you might dream about her giving you a loving look while standing beside you—as if to communicate that she was still looking out for you. Some people report being able to lucid dream while being visited by a deceased loved one—though not all visitation dreams necessarily involve lucid dreaming.
The dreams often show loved ones as happy, calm, and positive. Visitation dreams are believed to be consistently positive, even if you have some negative associations with a deceased loved one in reality. The deceased loved one also tends to appear completely healthy, even if they weren’t when you last saw them, and (if it’s a true visitation dream) they’ll never appear angry, disappointed, or vengeful. From a spiritual perspective, the deceased loved one appears calm and happy because they’re thought to have reconnected with whatever God, gods, or spiritual energies they believed in while alive. They’re “whole” once more.
Loved ones tend to have a purpose for appearing. You may wake up from a visitation dream wishing it went on longer. It’s believed that loved ones appear in visitation dreams to convey a specific message; they appear, deliver the message, and leave, which may result in a seemingly short (but very vivid) dream. You probably won’t be able to chat idly with a loved one in a visitation dream! Many visitation dreams are thought to have a reassuring message. For example, some claim to have dreams in which a loved one says they’re okay or in a better place—or they just want you to be happy. Some visitation dreams may carry a warning from a loved one, although it’s thought to be much less common than reassuring dreams.
After a visitation dream, it may feel like your loved one is still there. Because visitation dreams are so lifelike, some believe you can feel like your deceased loved one is with you after waking up, as though they never passed away. You might even feel like you can sense or smell them despite the fact that they aren’t physically present. Though seeing a deceased loved one in your dreams may feel strange, visitation dreams are also often associated with feelings of peace and comfort when you wake up.
What do visitation dreams mean?
Your loved one wants to connect with you. If you see a deceased loved one in a dream, it’s believed to be a sign of their continuing love for you. Your loved one may be trying to show you that the bond you share transcends death and that they’ll watch over you from the afterlife. In fact, this is one of the most common spiritual meanings for a visitation dream: the idea that your loved one cares for you and wants to reassure or encourage you. For example, you might dream of a deceased loved one looking happy because they’re trying to show you that they’re proud of you or believe you’re on the right path in life.
You may be ready to heal and say goodbye. It’s believed that you may have a visitation dream as a sign that you’ve accepted your loved one’s death and are emotionally ready to say goodbye to them. On the other hand, it may be a sign from your loved one indicating that they’ve found peace and closure in their afterlife and are no longer suffering. All in all, visitation dreams are thought to symbolize closure and healing for both of you.
You may subconsciously be wishing for guidance. Struggling or feeling nervous about a major milestone in life (like moving to a new place, switching careers, or getting married) is thought to cause an increase in visitation dreams. If your lost loved one is someone you used to put a lot of trust in and seek out for advice, a visitation dream might be their way of reaching out to you and offering guidance once more.
You may want to let go of something. Are you hanging onto any old resentments or unresolved conflicts? Is there anything you wish you had closure on but don’t? Some believe visitation dreams occur when your loved one wants to help you find a resolution over old resentments or hurts. Your visitor might make an appearance to guide you or signal that it’s time to forgive or apologize. In short, visitation dreams are thought to be your loved one’s way of saying that it’s okay to let go and release whatever you’re holding onto!
You were reminded of your loved one. Small details in our daily lives often make it into our dreams—so it’s possible that something triggered a memory of your loved one and caused the visitation dream. For example, you may have heard their favorite song on the radio, visited a place you used to go to together, or found an old photo of them. Memories of your loved one can easily make you more likely to dream about them.
You’re dealing with lots of stress. Heightened anxiety may lead to more dreams—including, in some cases, visitation dreams. If you’re going through a period of intense anxiety (particularly if it has to do with a specific fear, such as your health, aging, dying, or possible medical issues), a visitation dream may bring you comfort and reassurance. Furthermore, visitation dreams are believed to help you to realize what’s truly important in your life! For example, the recent loss of a loved one might have you worrying about another aging family member or your own health. So, you might have a visitation dream about them trying to bring you some reassurance.
You may be coping with loneliness. Was the loved one you’re dreaming of a constant presence in your life? If so, being unable to talk to them may leave you feeling isolated and alone—and visitation dreams are thought to stem from those feelings. Your dreams may give you the chance to talk to your lost loved one again because they recognize that need for connection inside of you. However, remember that visitation dreams shouldn’t be your main source of socialization. In fact, they may be a sign to start reaching out to the people still in your life and form closer connections with them!
You may still be grieving a difficult loss. If you see a loved one in a visitation dream, you may still be feeling their loss and processing grief deep down—even if you originally felt like you’d gotten to a place where could carry on with your life. The visitation dream may reflect the stage of the grieving process you’re currently experiencing and represent feelings like fear, anger, sadness, or acceptance. Remember, grief can look different for everyone, and working through it isn’t always a straightforward process. In other words, it’s very normal to experience a wide range of emotions while you process grief.
You may be coping with trauma. Sometimes, people with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) report having more vivid dreams. And, while there’s no scientific connection between trauma and “visitation” dreams, those dreams may still help you cope with the trauma you’re trying to process. Similarly, if you believe in the spiritual aspect of visitation dreams, your loved one might be there to help you work through trauma and begin your recovery.
You don’t have a specific reason for the dream. Sometimes dream visitations are totally random! Dreams are your brain’s way of processing memories and subconscious thoughts. So, even if you haven’t encountered a specific trigger that might cause you to have visitation dreams recently, you might see a deceased loved one in your dreams nonetheless.
How to Cope with Visitation Dreams
Write about the dream in a journal. Keep a dream journal to help you remember your dreams in more detail and track patterns in them. Even if you don’t want to keep a formal journal, try jotting down your dreams in a notebook or in a note on your phone. Write down as many details as possible to ensure you don’t forget anything, especially any messages from your loved one you may have received. If you feel you may have visitation dreams due to grief or loss, try using grief journaling prompts each day as you write. It may help you better understand your emotions. For example, use prompts like: “A comforting memory of my loved one is…” “Today I’m really missing…” “When I feel overwhelmed by pain or despair, I will…”
Treat the dream as a gift rather than something scary. Not everyone gets visitation dreams, regardless of whether they’ve experienced a personal loss recently—and some people may even wish for visitation dreams but never get them. So, whether you believe in the spiritual meaning of visitation dreams or not, it may help to think of them as an unexpected gift; they give you the chance to temporarily see your deceased loved ones again. Remember: there’s no need to be afraid of your visitation dreams, even if you find them unsettling. It’s believed that visitation dreams are there to help you. If you don’t mind your visitation dreams or even find them soothing, the easiest thing to do may be to relax and let them come rather than stress about their meaning! After all, getting a good night’s sleep is the most important thing.
Use breathing and relaxation exercises to calm yourself down. Deep breathing exercises can help ease the tension you feel and ground you after a particularly lifelike dream. Furthermore, relaxation exercises like progressive muscle relaxation can help you refocus and gain a sense of stability if your visitation dream makes you feel frightened or anxious. To do a deep breathing exercise, start by breathing in slowly through your nose, letting your chest and belly slowly rise. Then, when your abdomen is fully expanded, breathe out slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel calm! To do progressive muscle relaxation, simply focus on relaxing the muscles in your body one by one, systematically releasing the tension from your feet up to your head (or, if you prefer, the other way around).
Meditate to alleviate any anxieties you may have. Meditation is more than just trying to clear your thoughts: it's about re-focusing your attention on the present. As a result, it may help you feel more grounded and aware of your surroundings (and less anxious) after a visitation dream. Take a few minutes each day to unwind by meditating: sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and let yourself fall into a relaxed state of mind.
Discuss the dreams with a loved one. Strangely vivid dreams of a deceased loved one may be a bit overwhelming to process or interpret on your own. So, instead, tell someone you trust about the dream—be it a close friend or family member. It may especially help to talk through the dream with someone who knew your deceased loved one as well; you might find that you’re not the only one still thinking about them.
Distract yourself with engaging activities. It may be hard to think of other things besides the dream after waking up, particularly if the dream was jarring or uncomfortable in some way. So, sometimes, the best way to cope with the dream is by taking your mind off it as much as you can. Pick up a hobby or do an activity that takes up your full attention—like a sport or video game, for example—and try to fully focus on that instead.
Ask for more dream visits (if you believe in them). Do you take comfort in seeing your loved ones through dreams? Although visitation dreams can’t be forced, you can certainly try asking for them, whether you want advice or simply miss your loved ones. So, try establishing a daily routine of speaking to your deceased loved ones and asking them to visit you in your dreams. For example, try writing a letter to your loved one and ask for their help if you feel you might need it. You could say something like, “Dear Grandpa, please look out for me as I start a new job this week.” In tough times, you might even consider asking your deceased loved ones for peace and protection. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, it may feel comforting to think of them as guardians watching over you.
Consider spiritual counseling to explore the dream’s meaning. While not everyone believes in the spiritual meaning of visitation dreams, a religious or spiritual counselor can certainly help you interpret your dreams and delve deeper into their possible meaning if you’re curious. The more you learn about your dreams and what they might be trying to tell you, the less unsettled you may feel when you have them. Alternatively, if you don’t want to consult a spiritual counselor, try educating yourself on the meaning of visitation dreams instead! For example, books on dream interpretation may give you some added insight into your dreams and their spiritual significance.
Try continuing bonds therapy to stay connected to your loved one. Continuing bonds therapy is a unique form of grief therapy. Rather than helping you detach and let go of a deceased loved one, this type of therapy is designed to help you maintain your bond with them even after death. If it sounds like it may be helpful to you, consider seeing a grief counselor who specializes in continuing bonds therapy. Essentially, continuing bonds therapy validates the idea that it’s normal to carry your loved one’s memory with you throughout life and that maintaining a connection with them may help you cope with your loss. It’s thought to be particularly helpful to people who are distraught after a significant loss in their life—and may help you process feelings of grief.
Talk to a therapist or grief counselor if the dreams bother you. Having visitation dreams doesn’t necessarily mean there’s an issue that needs to be fixed. However, if the dreams are upsetting or you feel you might need help dealing with your grief, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. The grieving process is different for everyone, and there’s no shame in needing extra support. A therapist can help you develop coping strategies and work through your feelings in a healthy way. In rare cases, you may find yourself dreaming about the manner of your loved one’s death (particularly if it was a traumatic loss, like a sudden accident or caused by an act of violence). If your dreams involve reliving the trauma of your loved one’s passing, a grief counselor can also help you sort through and process those memories in a healthier way.
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