Being Aware of Your Surroundings
Look up and around while you walk so you aren’t distracted. Many attackers look for individuals who are distracted and not aware of what’s happening around them. Avoid staring at your phone while you’re walking or on the bus, and instead, keep your eyes on the landscape and people around you. This can help you identify any potentially dangerous situations. It’s okay if you have your phone out or nearby—that could even be helpful if you need to call for help. Just don’t use it to the detriment of not knowing what’s going on around you. Pay attention to how people are acting, if someone is following or staring at you a lot, and any potential escape routes you could take in case something were to happen.
Move away from slow-moving cars that come up alongside you. Even if the person in the car seems kind, confused, or lost, don’t step up to an open window. If you can, cut across the street or behind some houses to get away from an unknown person who is trying to talk to you. Common ruses that would-be-abductors use are asking for directions or pretending to be looking for a lost pet. They assume that people, children especially, will take pity on them and want to be helpful. If this car circles back around to you again, try going to a neighbor’s house or calling your parents or the police. If you can, take note of the license plate number. You could also turn and walk in the opposite direction if you think a car is following you. If they also turn around, you know there is a potentially dangerous situation at hand.
Cross the street or go up to another person if someone is following you. When someone is following you on foot, it’s important to get to the safety of other people or to at least get far enough away from them that they can’t easily grab you. The main goal is to prevent them from getting close enough to touch you or to coordinate an abduction with a second person waiting nearby in a car. Generally, there is more safety in numbers. Try ducking into a store or crossing over to a busier street. Abductors are less likely to strike when their victim is surrounded by other people.
Walk and park in well-lit areas when you’re outdoors at night. If you’re out shopping after dark, park as close to the front of the store as you can, and try to get a parking spot beneath a lamp post. If you are walking somewhere after dark, try to stay in well-lit areas where there are other people around. If you’re at a store, you could also ask an employee to escort you to your car. If you carry mace with you, make sure you know how to use it. If it lies forgotten at the bottom of your bag, it won’t help you if you’re attacked.
Ask for your family’s “code word” if the person claims to be a friend. Have an agreed-upon phrase that only you and your family members know. If someone approaches you and says they were sent by your parents to give you a ride home for whatever reason, they must be able to give you the code word. If they don’t know it, run away and find other adults. This code word or phrase should be something simple, yet unique, to your family that a stranger couldn’t easily guess. Even if the person approaching you knows your name and the names of your other family members, you still need to ask for the code. It’s possible they learned your names some other way and don’t actually know your family.
Trust your intuition and don’t put being polite above your own safety. If you feel that a person is off or they’re giving you weird vibes, trust that feeling. If you feel uncomfortable in any kind of situation, it’s okay to leave or ask someone to come get you. Attackers can use the promise of people being polite or afraid of being rude to their advantage, so resolve that you will trust your gut and keep yourself safe, even if that means you have to be “rude.” Our intuition often comes from a primal place that is meant to identify potential threats to our safety.
Getting Away from the Attacker
Run away and don’t comply, even if your attacker has a weapon. If it is possible, never get into a car or go to a secondary location with an attacker. Statistics show that in cases of abductions, unlike other crimes, you are more likely to survive by doing everything you can to get away from your attacker and not cooperating with them. Fight, yell, run, and try to get away before the abductor has a chance to get you into their car. Sometimes an abductor might tell you that nothing bad will happen if you just listen to them. Don’t. This is just another way they are trying to manipulate you to get you to go with them.
Yell specific things as you run away to help draw the attention of others. For whatever reason, people are less likely to respond to a cry for “help!” Try yelling things like, “I don’t know you,” “leave me alone,” “that’s not my mom/dad,” or “a man with a red T-shirt is trying to take me.” Specifics are great at getting people to pay attention. Keep yelling until you are safely away from the attacker.
Forget about your personal belongings. If someone grabs your purse, backpack, phone, jacket, scarf, or even your shirt, wriggle out of that layer or let that thing go and run. Your gut reaction may be to pull back on that item, but that could actually bring the attacker closer to you. Instead, let it go and take advantage of the few seconds of time it bought you. Hopefully, when you let go of that item, it’ll cause your attacker to fall back a few steps or even fall down.
Lie about advantages you may have. A disease, a parent or spouse who is the chief of police, a tracker in your body, cameras from nearby buildings—it doesn’t matter if these things are true or not. You want to make your abduction too much of a hassle or a risk to the abductor so that they will choose to let you go. If you fear sexual assault, say that you’re pregnant or that you have a sexually transmitted disease. Say something like, “Those buildings there have cameras, so someone will see your face and know you took me.” Or, “My parents had a chip installed in me, so they always know where I am. The police will find you.”
Urinate or defecate if you find yourself in a car with someone. If your attacker gets you into a car, use your bodily functions to your advantage. You could even make yourself throw up—on yourself, on your attacker, on the car. Basically, try to make yourself as smelly and disgusting as possible in the hopes that your attacker will kick you out of the car. You want to make things as difficult as possible for the attacker. There are no rules when someone abducts you, so do anything you can that comes to mind to throw them off.
Call emergency services immediately. If you have the ability to use a phone, call the police. Don’t call or text a friend or family member. The most important thing is that you let the police know that you’re in trouble and where you are so that they can send help. If you’re calling from a cell phone, your location can most likely be tracked, so keep the call live while you’re running even if you can’t talk to the responder.
Fighting the Attacker
Bite the abductor anywhere you can. Bite as hard as you can at any body part that comes near your mouth. A “pinch” bite, where you have a thin amount of skin between your teeth, often causes more pain that biting an entire mouthful of flesh would. You may feel squeamish about biting down hard enough to break the skin, but don’t hesitate to do so. You want to cause your attacker enough pain to gain yourself time to run away.
Use free limbs to attack the abductor rather than trying to free tied limbs. This uses your energy to defend and attack rather than tiring you out from trying to free other limbs. Obviously, do whatever you can to get free, but try to focus on being on the attack and causing harm to your abductor.
Hit your attacker’s sensitive areas: feet, shins, crotch, throat, and eyes. These areas are the most likely to cause enough pain to stun and momentarily stop your attacker. The goal of fighting your attacker isn’t to win the fight. It’s to gain time to get away. So as soon as you can, break away from the person and start running and yelling.
Attack the person with your keys or any other item you can find. Many things can be turned into weapons, so feel around you and grab what you can to lob at your attacker. Keys can be used to cut someone, books can be thrown at someone’s head, and bricks or other things you might find on a sidewalk could seriously injure your attacker and let you get away. If you wear heels, you could even take off your shoe and use that as a weapon.
Run away as soon as you disarm your attacker. Remember, you’re not trying to win a fight; you’re trying to save your life. As soon as your abductor is injured or stunned, start fleeing and yelling. Don’t look back, as that can slow you down. Just keep running until you get to safety. Call the police as soon as you are able to. They may be able to go back to the scene of the attack to find the perpetrator. You can also make your statement, get checked out for injuries, and provide the police with details about the attacker.
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