How to Text a Girl for a Second Date

Be direct and keep it simple.

A clear request for a second date shows her you’re confident. Start with a short greeting or casual convo and suggest a time and place to meet up so you don’t leave the request open-ended. If you’re wondering when to hit send, there’s no “right time” to follow up after a first date. However, sending your text within 48 hours after your first date sends a good signal that you’re truly interested. “Rylee! I had a great time last night and I’d like to see you again. Do you want to grab coffee at Tony’s this weekend?” “Hey, Kaitlyn! I really enjoyed meeting up the other night. Do you want to get drinks this Thursday?” “Hope your day’s going well. Last night was so fun. Do you have time for a beach picnic on Saturday?” Remember: honesty is always the best policy! There's no point in playing games when asking for a second date.

Drop the word “thanks” into your request.

It never hurts to be polite and "thanks" can make her feel appreciated. You can sincerely thank her for her company or put a funny spin on a “thank you.” Either way, make it clear that you had a great time on your date, and ask if she’d like to go out again. “Thanks for such a great time last night. Would you want to grab dinner again?” “Thanks for being such a great darts coach—I’m so impressed! Are you down to get coffee sometime this week?” “You saved me the other night when I couldn’t figure out how to pronounce ‘charcuterie.’ Thank you! Are you free for drinks this Saturday?”

Suggest an activity you know she likes.

She’s more likely to say yes if the second date lines up with her interests. If she mentioned she’s a hiking aficionado, tell her you can show her a cool trail. If she brought up a new Cajun restaurant that opened down the street, see if she wants to go there with you. When in doubt, check out her social media profile to figure out activities and places she might like to try out. “Hey, I just walked by the diner you talked about. Would you like to go there for dinner with me on Monday?” “I know you love animals, so I was wondering: do you want to volunteer at the animal shelter with me this weekend? ????????” “Since we’re both complete music geeks, could I show you the cool vinyl shop I found next Sunday morning?”

Invite her to something you’re already planning on doing.

Try a casual invite for a no-pressure approach. Asking someone on a second date can be just as nerve-wracking as asking for a first date. To take the stress out of the text, just tell her you’ll be going to an event and then ask if she wants to be your plus one. Keep things exciting by picking an activity that’s different from your first date. For instance, if you did something super active on the first date, take her to someplace quieter on the second date, or vice versa! “I’m planning to go see the new Marvel movie this weekend. Do you want to come with me?” “I have tickets for a Lakers game this week. ???? I’d love to take you. Any interest in going?” “I’m going snowshoeing this weekend at the Nordic trails 30 min away. Would you like to join me?”

Give her a compliment.

Use flattery to make her feel special. Send a text saying you think she’s amazing and would like to get to know her better. Stick to adding in just 1-2 compliments since piling on compliments could be overwhelming. “You might be one of the most interesting people I’ve met, and I’d love to get to know you better. Would you like to go out again on Friday?” “Hey, I think you’re super cool. Want to see a movie with me this week?” “Ok, so we know you’re great at first dates. But how are you at second dates? ????”

Bring up the best thing she said or did on the date.

Add details to make your message unique and to show you care. Mention the most interesting thing she said, the indie movie she referenced, or the incredible appetizer she suggested you split. By talking about the highlights of your first date, you set a super positive tone for a second date. In addition, you make her feel heard and show her you were fully engaged. “The sunset last night was so beautiful. Thanks for showing me that lookout spot! It reminded me of this other great spot by Skyline. Want to check it out with me Monday night?” “I’m so glad you suggested that alt-grunge band. I’m their new #1 fan. Can I hear your thoughts on their new album over dinner? How about Wednesday night?” “I’m still thinking about our coffee vs. tea debate. Want to go to Southside Cafe and see if you can change my mind? ☕”

Use an inside joke from your first date.

Keep the positive vibes going with a funny reference to your first date. Poke fun at yourself or bring up a silly situation that happened. Referencing a joke from the first date is called callback humor, and it’s a great way to start building a connection. Just be sure to steer clear of dirty jokes unless you know she’s okay with that. “I know you said people overuse the blushing emoji, but you’ve got me ????. Can I see you again on Saturday?” “I’ve been thinking about our plan to get rich. Want to rob a bank with me? Or we can skip the robbery and do dinner instead ????” “I had so much fun surfing with you yesterday. I’m still laughing at how hard that dude in the blue wetsuit was judging us, but practice makes perfect, right? Want to go again with me?” EXPERT TIP Cher Gopman Cher Gopman Dating Coach Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. Cher Gopman Cher Gopman Dating Coach It's okay to use emojis here and there when texting. Try not to overuse them, as that'll come off as too eager. But a little bit of emoji use will show them that you're lighthearted and fun. You should also always try to move the conversation forward as you're texting. You don't want to stick to one topic for too long, as this can become boring for the other person. Finally, don't be afraid to send a photo of somewhere that you're located that reminds you of the person for whatever reason, or say a song just came on and reminded you of the person. If you show that interest and common ground and it'll make the other person excited as well.

Ask her out with a texting game.

Use a game like Truth or Dare for a creative way to ask her out. This approach is a little more relaxed and playful, so it’s a good move if you two hit it off. You can also start up a text version of 20 Questions or Would You Rather. “For our next date, would you rather get Indian food or Italian food?” “Oh good move to pick ‘Truth.’ My question is: Will you go on a second date with me? ????” “Would you rather go to a movie with me or grab drinks with me?”

Hint that you’d like to see her again.

Test the waters with “Let’s do this again sometime.” Just keep in mind that text alone is pretty vague, so it might leave her wondering if you really do want to see her again. To clear up confusion, treat this as a two-part approach. First, send your subtle text to check how she feels about another date. If she responds enthusiastically, send a direct request for an awesome second date. Send a text like, “I’d love to see you again sometime.” When she tells you she feels the same way, say something like, “Would you like to get dinner on Thursday?” Try out, “We should hang out again.” Then, when she says “Totally!” you can ask “Are you down to go for a walk tomorrow afternoon?” Text her, “Let’s grab coffee again ????.” After she tells you that sounds great, reply with, “Can I take you to your favorite cafe? How about this weekend?”

Try calling instead of texting.

A voice call gives a more personal touch. In fact, picking up the phone can help boost your emotional connection since you’re able to pick up on vocal cues and tone. If you don’t know her well or met online, it might be a good idea to shoot her a text before you call so you don’t catch her off-guard. Just say something like, “Hey, do you mind if I call you quickly? I have something I want to ask you.” Here’s what to say when she picks up: “Hey, I went old school by calling, but I wanted to ask if you’d like to go out again with me on Friday.” “Hi! I’m not a big fan of texting important things, so I wanted to call and see if you’d like to come with me to a Ducks game tomorrow.” “Hey, it’s great to talk to you. Random question: would you like to go out with me again on Friday? I was thinking we could grab Thai food.”

Play it cool and be respectful if she says no.

Keep your response short and sweet to leave a positive impression. It’s not easy to get turned down for a date, but just remember rejection doesn’t say anything negative about you. It just means you had the guts to put yourself out there! Tell her you understand and wish her all the best. Who knows, as long as you’re positive, she might change her mind and reach out to you in the future. “No worries. Still glad I got to meet you and wishing you well!” “I understand! All good and I hope you have a great day.” “Thanks for being honest, I really appreciate it. Have a good one ????”