How to Make a Good Impression on a Friend's Parents

Meeting Them for the First Time

Ask your friend ahead of time for tips. Before you meet your friend’s parents, try to learn a little about them so that you can avoid accidentally offending them. Ask your friend what you can do to make a good first impression on their parents. If their parents disapprove of a certain hobby, avoid bringing it up. For example, if they dislike skateboarding, don’t mention that you have a skateboard. Instead, discuss your other hobbies. If their parents like something, on the other hand, you can find a way to bring it into conversation. For example, if their dad was a musician, you can say, “I heard you used to be in a band. That’s so interesting. Do you have any cool stories?”

Introduce yourself politely. When meeting them, smile, and offer your right hand for a firm handshake. Tell them your name. If you’d like, you can also tell them how you know their child or what you will be doing. For example, you can say, "Hi there, Mr. Mann. I'm Grace. Kayla and I have been working on our science project for a few days now. We'll just be upstairs, working. It's nice to meet you!" Remember to smile. Avoid slouching or crossing your arms when meeting them.

Address them by their proper title. Never call the parents by their first name. Instead, refer to them by their last time and a title such as Mr. Smith, Mrs. Garcia, or Dr. Robertson. This will demonstrate that you are polite and respectful. Sometimes their parents may tell you to call them by their first name or a nickname. If they give you the OK to do this, feel free to call them by the other name.

Dress appropriately for the situation. Choose clothing that is fitting for the location. For example, if you meet them at a nice restaurant, you might want to wear slacks or a dress, but if you're meeting them at a pool party, a bathing suit is acceptable. Make sure that your clothes are clean and unwrinkled. Remember to brush your hair. If you know your friend’s parents like them to dress a certain way, you might want to copy that style. For example, if they don’t like tank tops, make sure to wear a shirt with sleeves.

Hold a conversation with them. Your friend’s parents may ask you about your family, hobbies, home, or school work. As long as you are comfortable with the subject, engage them in conversation. If they share something about themselves, act interested by asking questions. Avoid talking about politics, religion, or other touchy subjects, as you might accidentally offend their parents. If they ask you how you are, answer politely, and ask them back in return. Avoid one-word answers like “fine” or “OK.” Instead, answer with full sentences. You can say, “I’m doing pretty well today, thanks. How are you?” If you ask them questions, try to make them open-ended ones which require more than a yes or no response. For example, say, “How did you get into the publishing business, Mrs. Darcy?”

Talk about your successes if asked. Some parents may try to interview you to see if you are a good influence on their child. Avoid talking about any bad habits, failures, or vices that you may have. Instead, focus on your positive qualities. For example, you may be asked what you do for a living. If you don’t have a job, you can say something like, “I’m still looking for a job. I’ve had some positive leads recently, so fingers crossed!” Be honest when answering, but frame things in a positive light. For example, if they ask how you are doing in a particular class, you can say, “I’m not the best at history. Algebra, on the other hand, is my favorite subject.”

Visiting Your Friend’s Home

Agree to their rules. You may be informed about certain rules in the house while you are visiting. While you are there, follow these rules as best as you can. Ask if you're uncertain about something. Watch to see if people remove their shoes inside of the house. If you're unsure, you can ask, "Should I take my shoes off?" Avoid commenting on the rules while you are in their home. Don’t say anything like, “I don’t understand why we need to be so quiet. It’s not like we’re bothering anyone.” If you smoke, avoid doing so in their home, even if the parents smoke.

Ask for permission before doing things. Be sure to ask for permission before getting a drink, helping yourself to a snack, or leaving to do something. This will show their parents that you respect their home and boundaries. It will make them think you are responsible and polite. You can say, "Mr. Phillips, Kayla and I would like to go to the park for a few minutes. Is that alright with you?" You do not need to ask permission to use the bathroom, but you may want to ask where it is so that you do not accidentally walk into the wrong room. You can say, "Can you show me where the restroom is?"

Compliment their home. When you visit your friend for the first time, you may want to say something nice about their home. Make sure that these compliments are sincere. For example, you can admire their garden or say something nice about their decorations. For example, you can say, “Mrs. Jones, you have such a lovely home. I really like your paintings. Where did you get them?” Avoid giving too many compliments or they may seem insincere.

Practice good table manners. If you are having a meal with your friend’s family, make sure that you are polite at the table as well. Ask them if you can help set the table. Wait to eat until everyone has been served or until the parents have started eating. The family may say a prayer or blessing before they eat. Even if you do not share their religious beliefs, bow your head in silence until it is finished. Try a little of everything that they serve. If you are allergic or have dietary restrictions, tell them before dinner so that they can try to accommodate you. Sit straight in your seat. Avoid slouching or putting your elbows on the table. Do not use your phone at the table.

Write them a thank you note after special events. If your friend’s parents have done a big favor for you—such as buy you dinner or let you stay over for a few days—write them a brief thank you note. This can be a handwritten letter or an email. Write a few sentences thanking them for their hospitality, and let them know how much you enjoyed their company. For example, you can write, “Thank you so much for taking Sarah and me to the zoo last weekend. I had a great time, and I really love being around your family. I am looking forward to our next adventure. Best wishes, Oliver.”

Maintaining a Good Relationship

Apologize if you have made a mistake. Sometimes you may accidentally offend their parents or break a rule. Try not to sweat it. Instead, offer a sincere apology to their parents. You can even explain your mistake if you choose. For example, you can say, “I’m so sorry for keeping Jessica out so late. I didn’t realize what time it was. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Speak politely on the phone. If you are calling your friend’s home, you may sometimes reach their parents or an answering machine instead. Be sure to state your name and who you’re calling for before politely asking if you can talk to your friend. If you reach a parent, you can say, “Hi, it’s John. Can I speak to Justin please?” If you reach an answering machine, you can leave a message like, “Hello, this is John Pollman. I’m calling Justin about our homework. If he could please call me back, I’d appreciate it. Thanks.”

Offer your contact information if you want. If you feel comfortable, give them your phone number, and mention where you live. Be sure to let them know they can call you anytime you are with your friend. This will make you seem trustworthy. It may also give the parent peace of mind when you are out with your friend. You can say, "I live on Oakwood Street, Mrs. Gillman. Here, would you like my number?"

Watch what you post on social media. You never know who might be watching on social media. Many parents monitor or watch their children’s accounts. Make sure that there is nothing on the page that could embarrass you. Never post embarrassing pictures of you or your friend. Avoid pictures of you and your friend drinking or doing reckless activities. Ask your friend for permission before tagging them in photographs. Do not use curse words or other offensive language online where your friend's parent might see it.

Be a good friend to their child. When you’re around their parents, treat your friend nicely and respectfully. Even when the parents aren’t watching, remember that your friend may tell them about you. If their parents know that their child trusts you, they may trust you as well. You may have inside jokes or nicknames that your friend understands but which may seem offensive to their parents. Avoid using these in front of the parents. If you treat your friend poorly, your friend may tell their parents about this. This can affect their parent’s opinion of you, even if you make up with your friend.