Dating might not be as simple as we perceive it. Sometimes it is thrilling, sometimes romantic and sometimes it can be tough. In order to make a relationship work, it requires efforts from both sides. One-sided efforts can inculcate toxicity in a relationship. Thus, it can have a negative impact on your mental health. If you are in an unhealthy relationship or know someone who is in a toxic relationship, read ahead.
A licensed psychotherapist and relationship educator, Sharon Peykar, recently dropped a post on her Instagram space, acknowledging common relationship issues. Along with talking about the importance of taking time and practice to make dating feel like a healthier and safer experience, she shared tips to obtain this goal.
Abstain from focussing on traumas: One should strictly avoid sharing their trauma on the first date. As per Sharon, doing so can create a false sense of closeness with dating partners. Furthermore, your first date is not a therapy session and discussing your trauma is certainly not a sign of compatibility.
Dating goals include how you show up: While dating a person, you should not aim to be liked by everyone you meet. Neither should it be to fill a void. Instead, focus on how you show up and be yourself. Be proactive, show curiosity and listen to assess compatibility.
Stay honest to yourselves: Sometimes when we witness contradictory behaviours, we tend to ignore them. However, this is something that one should strictly abstain from. Misalignment can mean that we aren’t being true to ourselves.
Feelings are not facts: From being excited or scared to being uncertain, feeling anxious can mean anything. Therefore, you should be curious about where it is coming from without making a notion that it is good or bad. It is essential for one to not let their emotions cloud their judgement and try to find out more information before acting out.
Stay connected to yourself: You should do things like deep breathing, exercises, and other outlets to soothe the nervous system post your date. This is crucial because it will help you stay connected to yourself.
Choose what is best for you: The expert says people often get attracted and intrigued by partners that are emotionally unavailable. However, it is up to you to not pursue them. It is important for you to distinguish between the people who bring out the best and worst in you and choose accordingly.
Be more realistic: Sometimes we expect people to be the way we want them to be. Hence, Sharon suggests people be wary of projecting qualities or unrealistic expectations on their partner that they might not have or be able to fulfil in the early stages of dating.
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