London: Actor Amanda Abbington has opened up about her break-up with longtime partner and "Sherlock" co-star, saying she had never thought they would ever part ways.
The former couple, who separated two years ago after 16 years of togetherness, said coming to terms with the split would often make her "feel sick".
"I had thought Martin was the love of my life. This wasn't meant to happen to us. I would wake every morning with a sudden lurch. 'Why do I feel sick?' I'd ask myself, in the darkness of the bedroom I no longer shared with my partner.
"And then, a split-second later, I'd remember what had happened. 'Oh,' I thought, as the tears started to fall. 'That's why'," Abbington told Red magazine.
The 44-year-old actor, who played Mary Morstan to Freeman's Dr John Watson on the BBC series, said she had to "keep things together" for their children.
They have daughter Grace and son Joe together.
"It was one of the darkest moments of my life but, although I didn't know it then, it was also to mark the beginning of an extraordinary journey of self-discovery.
"It's still hard. I still have massive wobbles but that's understandable I think. I'm human. Nobody's perfect. Nobody," she added.
Abbington said she shared a healthy relationship with Freeman, 46, and they "still love each other".
" -- Even if we're not in love with each other -- and neither of us sees our relationship as a failure. We had 16 great years together and have two fantastic kids. We still talk and we still give each other advice," she said.
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