How to Cope when You'll Never See Your Crush Again (Girls)

Managing Your Sadness

Say goodbye, if possible. If you are able to see your crush one last time before leaving, it can be very helpful. It will give you closure and a final memory. If you are comfortable, you can even tell them how you feel. It can be a huge relief to get it off your chest. Unexpressed feelings can cause stress and sadness, so it might help you in the long run to tell them exactly how you feel about them.

Let yourself cry. When you’re going through something hard, a lot of people will tell you to, “Stay strong.” While their intentions are good, it’s OK to express your emotions. Sometimes a good cry can get out some of those awful emotions that words can’t. Don’t bottle up your feelings, because they could come out when you least expect it. Sadness isn’t pathetic or a sign of weakness. Tears just mean you really cared about someone and you’re sad to say goodbye. Don’t be ashamed.

Be easy on yourself. When you’re young, often times your crushes aren’t taken seriously by others, nor are your heartbreaks. People may not understand your sadness, but that doesn’t mean you should sweep it under the rug. Be gentle with yourself, and treat yourself to the things you enjoy doing. Draw up a bubble bath, take a yoga class, or play a third round of video games. Give yourself little treats to help you in your sad time. It’s helpful to be honest with your parents and friends about how you’re feeling, so they understand what is going on.

Give yourself a “wallowing” time limit. It’s good to let your feelings out, but it’s not good to throw yourself a never-ending pity party. Give yourself a limit of how long you’ll let yourself wallow. Maybe it’s a weekend, maybe it’s a full week. Spend that time spoiling yourself, or doing the cliché things that people do to get over a break-up. Eat sweets, watch movies, sleep in, cry, listen to sad music, and do anything else that you feel like doing. When you’ve reached the time limit you set for yourself, stop. Turn off the sad music, tidy up, call some friends, and get ready to start moving on. Wallowing will never make you feel better. It’s OK to do it for a little bit and get out those awful feelings, but it’s not a long-term solution.

Distracting Yourself

Say yes to invitations. When you’re down in the dumps, it can be tempting to isolate yourself and hide in your bedroom. Challenge yourself to say “yes” to every invitation that comes your way. Whether it’s shooting hoops with your dad, going to the movies with a friend, or running errands with your mom, just say yes! Leaving the house and surrounding yourself with people who love you can be incredibly helpful.

Start a project. Now is a great time to dive into that big project you’ve been considering starting. Rather than sitting around and thinking about your crush, do something productive and fun! Redecorate your room, start a blog, train for a race, learn how to cook a new recipe, whatever! The more energy you channel into a fun project, the less energy you’ll have to be upset over your crush.

Enjoy hobbies. You may feel lethargic and down when you know you won’t see your crush again, but it’s important to keep doing the things that bring you joy. Don’t skip your extracurriculars or cancel plans that you typically love just because you’re sad. You may dread going somewhere or following through on your plans, but end up having a fantastic time. Give yourself the chance to forget about your crush and remember the hobbies you love doing.

Moving Forward

Close the chapter. If you are never going to see your crush again, it’s important to close that chapter to move onto the next. You will probably not be able to move on if you sleep with their picture next to your bed, or stalk their Facebook every single day. You don’t need to burn their photograph or unfriend them, but you should tuck the photo away somewhere and try not to look at their page. The less you’re bombarded with memories of them, the sooner you can heal and move on. Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and other social media platforms can be great ways to stay in contact with your crush if they live far away. However, these can also extend the amount of time that you're upset and stuck on them. Try to minimize your interactions through social media. For example, reduce your daily Snapchat messages from ten to five and then to none. It might seem unnecessary, or even harsh, but it's much easier to get over someone and close the chapter if you aren't communicating with them 24/7.

Remember your options. Your crush was probably awesome, but they're not the only awesome person you’ll ever meet. It can be hard to know that you’ll never see them again, but you will definitely have new crushes. You may let them pass by if you’re too busy mourning your last crush. Get excited about your future, because there will be plenty of amazing people coming in and out of your life.

Embrace the learning experience. Once you’ve successfully coped with saying a permanent goodbye to a crush, you’re a stronger and wiser person. You’ve learned how to make it through a really tough situation, and you’ll be able to handle hard things in the future. Painful experiences are never pointless– you’re officially a tougher and smarter person after it all.