How to Always Be Happy

Loving Your Life

Learn to love yourself. Learning to love yourself is important for happiness because it means that you have accepted yourself for who you truly are. This satisfaction can help increase your contentment and confidence. Write down a list of things that you love about yourself. These could be physical attributes, skills, personality traits, or relationships. Read over this list when your self-esteem is low. Stand in front of a mirror and express your love for yourself. For example, you can say, “I love who I am, and nothing can change that.” In difficult moments, treat yourself as you would your best friend. Whatever you would say to your friend, tell yourself.

Tell yourself that you can overcome anything. People often become what they believe themselves to be. If you believe you cannot do something, it makes you incapable of doing it. Instead, remind yourself that you can handle anything. If you're faced with a problem or obstacle, instead of giving up, tell yourself, “I can do this” and treat it as an opportunity to learn something new. Don't be afraid of failure. If you make a mistake, pick yourself back up and try again. Remember that each failure is simply a new learning opportunity.

Avoid comparing yourself to other people. Everyone lives life differently, so it is useless to compare yourself to other people. Remind yourself of your own successes, talents, and opportunities. Base your happiness on what you have achieved, not on what others have done. Social media can cause people to compare themselves to others. If this is a problem for you, consider deleting your social media accounts or reducing how much time you spend on social media.

Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. When you do something wrong, treat yourself the way you would treat a friend in the situation. Don't dwell on the mistake, but make a commitment to do better in the future.

Establish balance in your work, relationships, and hobbies. Balance is important in all aspects of your life. Give yourself enough time to devote to your work, social life, family activities, personal interests, exercise, and relaxation time. If you struggle with creating a work-life balance, try making a daily schedule. Block off time for relaxation and social activities, and don't let work run into that time. Try implementing daily self-care practices in your routine. Give yourself a bubble bath, go for a run, or paint a picture. Do something that helps you relax.

Becoming More Positive

Practice positive thinking. Whenever you find yourself thinking something negative like “I can't do this” or “what an awful day,” stop yourself. Change your thought to something positive, such as “I can do this if I put my mind to it” or “This day is only going to get better.” To help remind yourself to think positively, stick motivational messages on your phone, computer, mirror, or wallet. These might say something like “you're awesome” or “you can achieve your dreams.” If you struggle with negative thinking often, try making a list of the potential reasons you may be feeling this way. Think of ways you can change or improve your life to start feeling more optimistic.

Give compliments to yourself. Praise yourself for your efforts and your achievement, even for small successes. Remind yourself how strong, talented, or hard-working you are. For example, you can tell yourself, "You did so well getting everything done today! Great job!" It can help to write compliments things down, either in a journal or on the computer. Give yourself rewards when you've accomplished something big. Take yourself out to dinner, buy yourself something special, or do something fun with loved ones.

Smile when you feel down. Just the act of smiling can make you feel better. When you're stressed, anxious, or upset, try smiling. A real smile, when you crinkle your eyes, will boost your mood and relieve tension.

Surround yourself with positive people. Your social groups play a big role in how you feel. If you're surrounded by negative or cynical people, their behavior may rub off on you. Instead, seek out positive relationships with happy, optimistic, and cheerful people. If you're struggling with your relationships, try to meet new people. Volunteer at a local charity, join a club or society, or take a class to learn a new skill. If certain people complain on social media too much, consider unfriending them or blocking their posts from your view.

Express gratitude for the good things and people in your life. Every day, identify a few things that you are thankful for. Think of your relationships, opportunities, favorite memories, and other wonderful things that have happened in your life. Write these thoughts down in a journal every day. If you're feeling negative or upset, read over your gratitude journal to cheer yourself up. Make sure to tell the people you love how much you appreciate them. This will make both of you feel happier. EXPERT TIP Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008. Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Gratitude helps us become less depressed, less anxious, happier, and more attractive to be around. This is actually supported by neuroscience. We've seen in MRIs the effects of gratitude. We have hard evidence that certain parts of the brain are bolstered when we engage in daily gratitude practices.

Write your life as a positive story. Every day, write what happened to you in a journal, but frame it as a happy story. Focus on the good things. When writing about your struggles, emphasize what you learned or how you grew from the experience. Remember that everyone has struggles in life. These struggles can't prevent you from achieving happiness. You can also try to focus on 1 positive thing that stands out to you, no matter how small it may seem.

Creating Happiness Habits

Adjust your expectations as you go along. Your life will change as you grow older. Instead of sticking to the same expectations, goals, and dreams, feel free to make changes as you go along. Adjusting your expectations can help you stay realistic and avoid disappointment. You may need to lower your expectations in some cases. Expecting too much of yourself or others can lead to disappointment and frustration. For example, what you expect out of a partner might change as you get older. You may even want to cut down your list of requirements to help you find someone who will make you happy.

Build strong relationships with your family, friends, and loved ones. Relationships are a key component of long-term happiness. You don't need a ton of friends to be happy. Instead, devote time to building strong relationships with people who are close to you. Plan outings each week with friends or family. You can go on a picnic, see a movie together, or hang out at home. For those who live far away, make sure to call regularly on the phone, talk over video chat, or send letters. Remember important dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, and weddings. Give a nice card or a present for these events. Tell your family and friends how you love and appreciate them often.

Get between 7-9 hours of sleep every night. If you don't get enough sleep, you may find yourself feeling more moody, pessimistic, or stressed. A good sleep schedule will ensure that you can feel your best every day. Avoid using bright screens and electronics 1 hour before going to bed. These screens can make it harder for you to fall asleep. Make sure your bedroom is an inviting place to sleep. Close the curtains at night. Use a white noise machine or ear plugs to block out any noise.

Increase your activity levels. Exercise and movement are great mood boosters. Incorporate more activity into your daily life to keep yourself feeling cheerful and happy. Some easy ways to include more activity include: Taking a walk after dinner. Going to the gym 2-3 times a week. Taking the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator. Playing with children or pets. Going on a hike or kayaking on the weekend.

Meditate when you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed. Meditation helps calm your brain and restore you to a sense of peace. Daily meditation can help you cope with difficult or stressful situations. Go somewhere quiet and peaceful. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Don't think about anything else. If your mind wanders during this time, gently redirect it back to your breathing. Start by doing 5 minute meditation sessions. As you get better, work your way up to 10 or 15 minute sessions. There are many videos and apps that offer guided meditation. These include Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer.