In her recently published book, Pain: A Portal to Enlightenment, Shweta Singh Kirti, sister of the late actor Sushant Singh Rajput, reflected on the emotional challenges she faced following her brother’s tragic demise on June 14, 2020. Describing the connection she had with Sushant, Shweta disclosed how she used to visit him in India every year but could not have a final meeting. Shweta disclosed the hurdles she faced due to Sushant’s busy career, preventing him from visiting her in the United States. Despite his commitments, she diligently made trips from 2014 to 2017 but had to skip 2018 and 2019.
In January 2020, she made a special effort to see him, but the timing proved unfortunate, and she couldn’t meet him during that visit. Shweta also recalled that just four days before Sushant’s death, she had invited him to her in the US during a phone call.
The news of Sushant’s demise reached Shweta in the United States on the night of June 13, delivered by her husband. Recalling the moment, she shares, “A chill ran down my spine and I lay in bed paralyzed. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. By conviction of my practice, I fell into a space that sucked all the shock that my body and mind were going through.”
With the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, disrupted flights between the US and India made it difficult for Shweta to say a final goodbye to her brother. Despite securing a ticket, she arrived too late.
“The realisation that I would not be able to see him for the last time and bid him a proper farewell left me feeling angry and frustrated. There was no closure for me,” she said.
Apart from this, Shweta has also talked about the time when Sushant was born and their shared childhood memories in her book.
Shweta recounts how, after her birth, her parents expressed a desire for a boy, influenced by the loss of her mother’s first son at a young age. Shweta writes, “Mom and Dad wanted a son, more so because Mumma’s first child had been a son, and she had lost him at a very young age.” After numerous rituals and spiritual visits, Sushant came into the world on January 12, 1986.
Reflecting on their upbringing, Shweta expressed a profound sense of protectiveness towards Sushant. “Growing up, we were each other’s shadows – always together. We played and danced, studied and got into mischief, ate and slept, doing everything in unison to the point where people forgot we were two separate individuals,” she wrote in her book.
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