Beijing: Failure reduced the battle-hardened army man to a vulnerable-looking emotional soul as Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, tears welling up in his eyes, said he is not sure if he would compete ever again.
Shattered by his failure to make it to the final of the double trap event, the Athens Games silver medallist struggled to fight back tears as he said he needed to give it a serious thought whether he would be back competing in shooting ranges again.
"I need to take a few days off and spend time with my family. I love being part of sports and I guess it's difficult to stay away. I really cannot bid goodbye to shooting. But I seriously need time to think whether I would compete ever," Rathore told reporters on Tuesday after his effort to replicate his Athens feat in Beijing proved futile.
Talking to the Indian media, Rathore's eyes moistened and the shooter abruptly retreated to the change room, trying to conceal his tears.
He eventually returned to continue the interaction and said, "You have to see the whole thing as a four-year journey. It was not easy to continue after Athens, for I had some personal issues. But I thank my coaches who stood by me and made me believe I could continue."
Rathore, however, did not reveal those "personal issues".
On today's performance, Rathore said, he shot well but had troubles in reading targets.
"Last 10 days we were trying to read the targets and I had some difficulty today. That also explains the relative low scores in the field today," he said.
"When we shoot the first shot, the bird is not actually there, we only expect it there. It's anticipation and much like a catch in cricket where you stretch your arm to intercept the ball. Little hesitation and you are doomed."
"I had trouble reading the first target and it affected anticipation as well," he explained.
"I'm upset that I could not hold on to my scores. I did not shoot very high this year but that should have been enough to qualify for the finals here. At the end, I have not been able to achieve what we came here for," Rathore rued.
Amid the gloom, the shooter, who won India's first individual silver in Athens Olympics, however returns home atleast with one satisfaction.
"This time, we are returning with the gold," he said, referring to the medal Abhinav Bindra won yesterday.
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