I went through the same predicament sometime back and unfortunately my parents were at the receiving end. Thank god, no one had to settle any scores with them except for those lovely neighboring aunties who seemed to be more concerned about my future than my parents. I still remember the shock written all across my family's face after I failed to succeed in IIT entrance exam. Especially after all your school and coaching teachers give you thumbs up to easily sail through the deep sea of the coveted IIT entrance exams. However, whatever happens, happens for a reason, and looking back in solitude, I feel a sense of satisfaction with what little I have done so far to make my parents proud.
I thought of penning down my thoughts to drive a very important issue which all children face after their XIIth exams. The weight of expectations, the lack of clarity in mind to decide one's career path, and above all the curse of competition sometimes within the extended family or with your neighbor's child, just bogs you down and you start considering yourself a loser, if God forbid you failed to qualify one of those IIT or AIIMS entrance. But trust me, this is neither the great beginning, if you happen to succeed, nor an abysmal point in your life, if the opposite. It is just part of the Rahul Dravid's learning curve.
Our parents belonged to a generation that was obsessed with engineering and medical professions. For few it was a safe bet as it guaranteed their child a healthy living for the entire life. For few it was mere competition to show that if your child could do so could mine. And for others it enhanced their chances to get a higher dowry, if it was a boy, or get a dowry waiver, if it was a girl. Whatever be the reasons, I feel that they were right in their own regards.
And even for a second if we think that they were not, they did not have many options to ponder upon. They were ill-informed as they did not have resources like the internet or 24x7 channels. And so were their children. Even if they resented their parents' wish or order, whatever you may like to call, they did not have much information to prove about the advantage of their dream profession. They just knew that choosing a fashion designing profession would have beautiful girls around them, or a journalist profession would give them the right to interview their favorite stars or sporting heroes.
However, there is no scope for excuses now as we are living in a well informative India, thanks to emerging career opportunities and above all - the Internet. Still I see coaching institutes for engineering and medical flooded with visitors - parents accompanied with their children, fooling them with hundred percent selections as there is no law suit to challenge them. To top it all, there seems to be a plethora of private colleges set up in a two bedroom flat to ensure degree for one and for all. But what is the use of an engineering degree if one has to end up being a process associate in a call centre? Or for that matter, what is the use of possessing an MBBS degree when finally you end up being an MBA? With so many lucrative and respectable career opportunities knocking at the doors, why are parents still hell bent to force the issue? Why not leave it to the child to figure out a career path based on his talent? If he happens to be me, then support him in his quest to become an engineer. But if he and his innate talent belie your wishes, then direct him to the right channel. It is so easy, isn't it? There are so many teenagers who are struggling to convince their parents for a career path of their dream.
The onus is now on the parents. The need of the hour is communication though not the way our PM and his ministers communicate. The results must have given them some idea of the chances of their children to succeed, not a complete idea though as software professionals are still figuring out an algorithm to debug the "LUCK" factor. Talk to your children. See if this is what they want. If yes, then encourage them for another attempt, do not pressurize them by undue comparisons of others success, and prepare them for facing the worst. If no, then chalk out a career path which is amicable to both of you and maybe you might see a Rajdeep Sardesai or an Abhinav Bindra or a Sonu Nigam in the making. For, nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
For those who sincerely want to become engineers or doctors and lost out this year, just do not panic. Figure out your weaknesses (excluding bad luck), be truthful to yourself, and try again. If you fail it is not the end of the world as something more rewarding is in store - hard work never goes waste. It is simply bad luck. If you succeed, it is still luck - good luck although now hard work will hog the limelight. The law of average is for everyone. You will get your share of success soon, if not today. Just believe in yourself and keep saying the words of Robert Frost to yourself:The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep;And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep...
Vande Mataram.
(Saurabh Saksena is an engineer in a reputed power company in Boston, USA. These are his personal views.)About the AuthorSaurabh Saksena Saurabh Saksena is the co-founder of Bharat Votes. He is a Power Systems engineer by profession and currently works in reputed utility near Boston. He...Read Morefirst published:July 29, 2006, 11:26 ISTlast updated:July 29, 2006, 11:26 IST
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It's that time of the year when moment of bitter truth beckons all aspirants of engineering and medical entrance exams. The results for the most sought after engineering and medical entrances have been declared and the lucky ones are all set to embark a new journey. Kudos to them!!! Their parents must be feeling proud and with their head held high shall be walking around their colony to fetch milk or grocery, a rare sight, instead of sending their servants, in their attempt to share their happiness with almost everyone, if possible with a stranger too. Trust me, their attempt is not futile especially if they happen to share the news with another parent whose child unfortunately did not happen to succeed. Oh boy, that bloated ego must have got bigger. Maybe, they got a chance to settle some scores. Such parents are few, hopefully.
I went through the same predicament sometime back and unfortunately my parents were at the receiving end. Thank god, no one had to settle any scores with them except for those lovely neighboring aunties who seemed to be more concerned about my future than my parents. I still remember the shock written all across my family's face after I failed to succeed in IIT entrance exam. Especially after all your school and coaching teachers give you thumbs up to easily sail through the deep sea of the coveted IIT entrance exams. However, whatever happens, happens for a reason, and looking back in solitude, I feel a sense of satisfaction with what little I have done so far to make my parents proud.
I thought of penning down my thoughts to drive a very important issue which all children face after their XIIth exams. The weight of expectations, the lack of clarity in mind to decide one's career path, and above all the curse of competition sometimes within the extended family or with your neighbor's child, just bogs you down and you start considering yourself a loser, if God forbid you failed to qualify one of those IIT or AIIMS entrance. But trust me, this is neither the great beginning, if you happen to succeed, nor an abysmal point in your life, if the opposite. It is just part of the Rahul Dravid's learning curve.
Our parents belonged to a generation that was obsessed with engineering and medical professions. For few it was a safe bet as it guaranteed their child a healthy living for the entire life. For few it was mere competition to show that if your child could do so could mine. And for others it enhanced their chances to get a higher dowry, if it was a boy, or get a dowry waiver, if it was a girl. Whatever be the reasons, I feel that they were right in their own regards.
And even for a second if we think that they were not, they did not have many options to ponder upon. They were ill-informed as they did not have resources like the internet or 24x7 channels. And so were their children. Even if they resented their parents' wish or order, whatever you may like to call, they did not have much information to prove about the advantage of their dream profession. They just knew that choosing a fashion designing profession would have beautiful girls around them, or a journalist profession would give them the right to interview their favorite stars or sporting heroes.
However, there is no scope for excuses now as we are living in a well informative India, thanks to emerging career opportunities and above all - the Internet. Still I see coaching institutes for engineering and medical flooded with visitors - parents accompanied with their children, fooling them with hundred percent selections as there is no law suit to challenge them. To top it all, there seems to be a plethora of private colleges set up in a two bedroom flat to ensure degree for one and for all. But what is the use of an engineering degree if one has to end up being a process associate in a call centre? Or for that matter, what is the use of possessing an MBBS degree when finally you end up being an MBA? With so many lucrative and respectable career opportunities knocking at the doors, why are parents still hell bent to force the issue? Why not leave it to the child to figure out a career path based on his talent? If he happens to be me, then support him in his quest to become an engineer. But if he and his innate talent belie your wishes, then direct him to the right channel. It is so easy, isn't it? There are so many teenagers who are struggling to convince their parents for a career path of their dream.
The onus is now on the parents. The need of the hour is communication though not the way our PM and his ministers communicate. The results must have given them some idea of the chances of their children to succeed, not a complete idea though as software professionals are still figuring out an algorithm to debug the "LUCK" factor. Talk to your children. See if this is what they want. If yes, then encourage them for another attempt, do not pressurize them by undue comparisons of others success, and prepare them for facing the worst. If no, then chalk out a career path which is amicable to both of you and maybe you might see a Rajdeep Sardesai or an Abhinav Bindra or a Sonu Nigam in the making. For, nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
For those who sincerely want to become engineers or doctors and lost out this year, just do not panic. Figure out your weaknesses (excluding bad luck), be truthful to yourself, and try again. If you fail it is not the end of the world as something more rewarding is in store - hard work never goes waste. It is simply bad luck. If you succeed, it is still luck - good luck although now hard work will hog the limelight. The law of average is for everyone. You will get your share of success soon, if not today. Just believe in yourself and keep saying the words of Robert Frost to yourself:The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep;And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep...
Vande Mataram.
(Saurabh Saksena is an engineer in a reputed power company in Boston, USA. These are his personal views.)
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