How to Respond when a Promotion Is Rejected

Reacting Immediately

Sleep on it before talking to anyone. Rather than busting into your manager’s office as soon as your hear the news, finish out your day quietly and go home to unwind. The disappointment may be too fresh to have a productive conversation about why you didn’t get the promotion. If your boss or the hiring manager tells you in person that you didn't get the promotion, thank them for taking the time to interview you. Avoid asking questions until you've had time to process the rejection.

Be mature and understanding about the outcome. If anyone asks you how you’re feeling, simply say, “I’m disappointed. I really wanted it, but I’ll try again next time.” Even if you’re not feeling understanding, show that you can be mature in the face of disappointment. Avoid gossiping and venting your frustrations with coworkers. It could get back to management that you weren’t being gracious. If the other candidate comes up in conversation, try saying, "They really deserved it," or "They were really qualified."

Be gracious toward the person who got the promotion. Offer your congratulations the next time you run into the person who was promoted. Treat them the way you’d want to be treated if you’d gotten the promotion. Be friendly rather than standoffish or dismissive, since others will take note of these behaviors.

Asking for Feedback

Ask for feedback from the hiring manager. When you come into work the next day, ask the hiring manager if there’s a good time to discuss the reasons you weren’t promoted. To leave a good impression, set a friendly, conversational tone for the meeting. Don't get defensive or interrogate them. Just ask what skills or experience the selected candidate has that earned them the promotion. For example, say something like, “I was hoping you could tell me why I wasn’t selected. I’d like to be able to improve for the next opportunity.”

Ask a trusted coworker how others perceive you. Unfortunately, promotions are often based on how you’re perceived around the office. Find someone you trust to be honest with you, and ask them what people say about you. This might be hard to hear, but it’s important information that can help you improve your image. Ask if anyone has ever said you’re difficult to work with. While you may not think this is true, you can make an effort to be more flexible in the future.

Talk to your manager about your career goals. Even though you didn't get this promotion, there may be other advancement opportunities for you within the company. Discuss your career goals with your manager so that they can connect you with future opportunities that interest you. They may also be able to give more personalized advice about improving your chances.

Developing Your Skills

Work to improve your skills. Did the other candidate have more experience with certain computer programs? Ask your manager if you could be put on a project where you’d gain experience using that program. Or ask if your manager knows of any training sessions or coding boot camps that you could attend. Was the other candidate really good at leading a team? Ask if there are any small-scale projects coming up where you could lead a couple people to get some practice.

Get credit for your work. Don’t let others get all the praise for your hard work. Be on the lookout for ways to have your name or face associated with work you’ve done. Ask your manager if you can have bylines on things you’ve written for the company website, or volunteer to make presentations for projects you’ve worked on.

Pitch new ideas to management. Show the people in charge that you’re interested in moving the company forward. Brainstorm ideas to improve the company’s bottom line or appeal to a new demographic. Then schedule a time to pitch these ideas to your manager. Even if nothing comes of it, you’ve set yourself apart as innovative and proactive. Only pitch ideas that you truly believe in. Don't advocate for new concepts just for the sake of being innovative.

Attend workplace social events. Your employer may think you’re not a team player if you don’t regularly attend happy hours, holiday parties, or other social events held outside of work hours. Make an effort to go to these events as often as possible to show you enjoy socializing with your coworkers.

Look for learning experiences outside of work. If your manager didn’t have a way for you to gain experience while on the job, look around your community. Is there an adult learning center or community college where you could learn coding, accounting, or a foreign language? Take advantage of any resource you can find to improve the skills you were lacking.

Moving On

Ask yourself why you wanted the promotion. Did the duties of the new job truly appeal to you? Or did you want the promotion mostly for the pay raise? If the money was the biggest factor, let go of any resentment over not getting the job since it might not have made you happy anyway. Spend the next few months taking on extra duties and spending a little more time at the office. Then present your case for a pay raise.

Contact a headhunter for advice. If you feel you’re undervalued at work, reach out to a headhunter to find out what your skills are worth. Search online for recruitment companies in your area and call or email them to discuss your situation. They may tell you someone with your skills or experience should be getting paid more, in which case you’ll know it’s time to start looking around for other jobs. Don’t use this as a bargaining chip with your current employer. It will seem like an ultimatum, and they likely won’t respond well to it. If they say your salary is appropriate for your skill level, ask them which skills you should focus on learning in order to become more valuable in the job market.

Reach out to your network for job leads. Send a few emails to old colleagues to see if they know of any job openings that you might be a good fit for. Select people you know aren’t in direct contact with your boss, just in case you decide to stay where you are.

Seek jobs with more opportunity for advancement. If you’re starting to feel like you’ll never get the recognition you deserve, start browsing job boards for openings that are at or above the level you’re at now. Sometimes a sideways move can lead to a move up. Look for language like “room for growth,” and “potential for advancement.” Look for job descriptions that specifically mention timeframes for raises or evaluations, such as at three months, six months, or one year. Companies that mention built-in training programs or tuition reimbursement are probably interested in helping you grow and move up in your career.