How to Fake Drunk Text Your Ex

Send a friendly, fun message to get the conversation going.

Even over text, drunk people are usually playful and approachable. Drunk people make snap decisions off of momentary impulses, so send your ex a message that reads like you took two seconds deciding to send it. Drunk people also find strange, sometimes semi-illogical things funny, so craft a silly opener. Read it to a friend you trust if you need a second opinion. Send something silly and say it reminded you of them: “I just saw a dog that looked EXACTLY like Bud. Or...they were the same color at least. Anyway, I thought of you ????” Text them a funny thought you just had about them: “Ok u know what I just thought about. If you moved to Montana. You would be Hannah from Montana. Woah. ????” Or, go for a friendly, over-the-top greeting. Throw in a couple extra letters to give the impression that you’ve been drinking: “heyyyy ????”

Hint at the fact that you've been drinking.

Drunk people love sharing personal details and stories. If you just say, “Oh by the way, I’ve been drinking ????,” that'll be too obvious. But chatty drunk people will definitely casually mention the fun bar they’re at and that crazy thing their friend did. Mention a silly detail that alludes to your night out without directly saying that you're drinking. This'll convince your ex that you're drunk texting. Send a text that mentions a bar or pub: “OMG…Deepti left her phone at the last bar. I’ll text you in a sec ????” Casually mention that there's a drink close by: “You know how you always make fun of me for spilling everything??? I just got red wine on my new sneakers ????”

Use extra punctuation and letters.

Drunk people usually text in a light, silly, over-the-top tone. When someone drunk texts, they’ll usually have an overly enthusiastic texting style—which means tons of exclamation points, laughter, and the longest “heeey” you’ve ever seen. To sell the idea that you’re drunk texting your ex, sprinkle these in. "Omg!!!! You should totally meet us out! ????????" "Wooooooow, I can't believe you're seriously staying in on a Friday night. Boring! ????" "Hahahaha omg. I have the funniest story to tell you. Hold on, let me type it out ????"

Include a typo or two.

Drunk texters may not notice when they mistype a word. Go overboard, and your ex may think you need help (or they may see through your act). So instead, throw in just one or two typos throughout your convo. Make sure your typos make sense. So, because “e” is close to “r” on your keyboard, the typo “kryboard” makes more sense than “kpybard.” “So anyway, how have you beem? ????” You could also let autocorrect do the job for you. Type out a message with closed eyes, then fix all the words but one: “So ate you going out tonight?” If one of your "typos" is major, make sure you send a correction: “Sorry, I meant: So *are…" A drunk person might accidentally send the wrong word—but with a big error, they’d probably notice their mistake and clarify.

Send a blurry, silly photo.

Drunk texters often think low-quality pics make for great conversation. Send a silly selfie, a blurry photo of something your ex would find funny, or a poorly lit photo of your mutual friend waving hello. Do people typically think it’s a good idea to send random photos in casual conversations? No...but drunk people totally do! Send a "drunk" selfie. The classic drunk selfie photo is from a low angle and features closed eyes, a soft smile, and a peace sign. Or, send a blurry or dark photo of something your drunk self would be excited to share with your ex—for instance, a TV screen with their fav show. Or, if you actually are out with a friend, send a silly photo or video of your pal waving to your ex. Send a message, too: “Sheena says helloooooo ????”

Insist that you’re not that drunk.

Drunk people usually don’t think they’re as drunk as they actually are. When your ex explains that they think you’ve been drinking, claim that you're not that drunk. Because you've already dropped "unintentional" hints about being drunk, your ex will think you're unsuccessfully trying to convince them that you're not as drunk as you are (which is classic drunk behavior!). Send a lighthearted denial to make your ex laugh: “Me, drunk?? Just drunk on life, man ????” Or, get a little playfully defensive: “I am NOT. You take that back. You're drunk. ????” Send a message that insists you’re not as drunk as you seem: “Hahah noooo. Not drunk. A little tipsy maybe, I’ll give you that ????”

Ask how your ex is doing.

Drunk people are super friendly and generally curious about others. If you’ve been wondering about your ex, come right out and ask how they've been. Because they think you're drunk, your ex will understand why you’re being more forward than usual. Follow up on areas of their life that you've been curious about. Remember to throw in extra letters, punctuation, and a fun tone. “Sooooooo…how have you been? Has everything been good with you since we last spoke?” “I guess I wanted to check on you. ???????? Like, did you end up getting that promotion??" “You know who I really miss…ur dog. How is little Sammy? ????”

Send a question you've been dying to ask.

Drunk people aren't afraid to pry. You may have a question in mind that you're desperate to ask your ex—but without an excuse, it could feel too scary to broach. So, use the fake drunk text as your excuse. Ask them about who they’re seeing, how they feel about you, or lingering questions you might have about your relationship. Ask them if they’re still single: “I have to ask…are you dating someone??? I thought I might’ve seen something on IG.” Ask them something you've been curious about: “Well...I’m just going to come right out and say it. Do you ever still think about me ?” Ask if they’d ever want to hook up again: “Okay, question. Would you ever wanna hang out, you know, casually again?? ????” Get clarity on a question you have about your past relationship: “Hey. U know what I’m thinking about…what exactly happened with us?”

Reveal something personal.

Drunk people aren’t afraid to be raw and vulnerable. If you’re looking to fake drunk text your ex, you may have a confession weighing heavy on you. Express what you need to express. Just remember not to be too formal or organized (because you're still "drunk!"). Share something kind about your ex that you’ve been thinking about: “Hey. You were really good 2 me. Thank you for that. Seriously :))" Confess that you miss your ex: “You know what...Lowkey, I rly miss you. ????" Let them know that you want to get back together: “I sometimes think about getting back together, tbh. Do you??"

Say goodbye before the conversation gets serious.

For serious talks, you should both know the other person is sober. Once you’ve expressed or asked what you needed to, let your ex know that you’ll talk to them later. If you two are going to discuss getting back together, past mistakes, or serious feelings, that should happen in the light of day (and preferably, in person!). Let your ex know that you’re going to bed or that your phone is going to die: “I’m getting sooooo sleepy. I’m gonna go hit the hay. ????” If you’re hoping that these “drunk” texts will lead to more conversation between you two, mention that you want to talk more tomorrow. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow!!! By then I’ll probably regret half of what I said tonight, hahah. Talk then :)”

Apologize for drunk texting the next day.

Drunk texters usually regret their messages in the morning. Even though you fully meant to text your ex the night before, a real drunk person would probably apologize when they became sober. Throw in an excuse for your texts, make a self-deprecating joke, or explain that you’re feeling embarrassed. “Hahaha, wow! I really let it fly last night. Last time I mix my alcohols ???? Sorry about that…” “Wow. I bet I was a really engaging, dignified conversationalist last night, huh ???? My bad, haha.” “Omg…I’m so embarrassed. I hope you can forgive me!”

Ask a question to keep the conversation going.

You may be hoping that your drunk texts can lead to something more. Whether you’re after reconnection, open communication, or an eventual hookup, text your ex a casual follow-up question to keep the conversation going. If you just say sorry, your ex may not send much of a response. But include a related question with your apology, and you’ll open the door to more texting. “I’m too scared to look at my texts from last night…How bad were they? ????” “Were you drinking last night too?? I’d hate to think you had to soberly deal with those messages…????” “Did those messages take you by surprise? Lol”

See if your has any questions about what you texted.

If you brought up heavy feelings, you two may have a lot to talk over. It’s possible that while "drunk texting," your goal was to reopen communication with your ex. If you’re interested in exploring your feelings (or your ex's), let them know that you’re happy to talk more about your texts from the night before. “Also…I know I said a lot last night. We can talk more about that whenever you want (if you want).” “I know what I said last night might’ve been unexpected. I don’t want to leave you hanging or anything. You can let me know if you have questions!” “I just finally dared to look back at what I said—oof. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything, haha”