How to Be Bright and Sunny

Being Optimistic

Look at the bright side. Being bright and sunny means finding the good in almost any situation, a trait which is not so common. Optimists are more successful in nearly every area of life – work, school, relationships, sports, and creative endeavors. Positive thinkers get depressed less often, make more money, and have happier marriages. Try saying, “And the good news is...,” and then finishing the sentence. You may have the flu, but the good news is...now you have time to binge-watch an entire season of your favorite show. Someone just backed into your car and broke your tail light. But the good news is...now you get to spend some quality time with your brother, who offered to fix it for you.

Expect things to turn out well. Although some researchers believe that your degree of optimism is hereditary, most psychologists believe you can learn to become a more positive person. When faced with a difficult situation, think of all the different possible outcomes and then focus on the most favorable one. If you have to move because of family or work, imagine being presented with exciting new opportunities that you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed where you are. If you have a fight with someone you love, expect your relationship to recover and be even stronger in the future because you went through this now.

Be grateful. Cheerful, optimistic people tend to be grateful for what they have. If you ever find yourself feeling envious of what others have, take a mental inventory of all the good things in your life. Remind yourself that there are people whose lives are much harder than yours. Keep a journal, and try to think of three good things that happened that day, no matter how small, like having lunch with a friend or doing well on an assignment. Expressing your gratitude to people you care about is a critical part of maintaining close relationships.

Smile anyway. Sunny people smile a lot. If you aren't feeling sunny at the moment, try acting like you are. Research shows that the physical act of smiling actually makes you feel happier. This is called facial feedback – when you flex the muscles involved in smiling, your brain thinks something good must have just happened...and adjusts your mood accordingly. People who held a pen in their mouth – forcing their face to smile – rated cartoons more amusing than those who held their faces still. Botox patients who were unable to frown reported feeling happier overall.

Try to stay balanced. Sometimes life can be very difficult, and you can't help having some negative thoughts and blue moods. The trick is to try to find the balance between being optimistic and being realistic. Staying realistic will help boost productivity and keep anxiety in check. A potential side effect of too much positive thinking is denial, so try to be realistic and grounded as well.

Go easy on yourself. Putting too much pressure on yourself to think positive thoughts may have negative results. Remember that no one can be bright and sunny 100 percent of the time, so allow yourself to experience your own emotions in a genuine way. When people believe they are expected to feel nothing but positive emotions, they actually experience more negative emotions, and more frequently. If you feel pressured to “think positive” all the time, you may begin to blame yourself for not feeling happy enough.

Improving Your Confidence

Fake it till you make it. It's a cliché for a reason: studies show that when we behave in ways a confident person would, it tricks our brain into believing that we feel confident. Bright and sunny people often radiate a quiet confidence, which draws other people to them. If you are feeling nervous in a particular situation, try to act as calm and assured as you can. At the end of the day, confidence is all about learning and understanding that you can survive anything that comes your way.

Work on your self-esteem. Confidence is rooted in self-esteem, so try not to judge yourself so harshly. When you look in the mirror, you're judging yourself on your looks alone. All you can see is your reflection – you aren't giving yourself credit for other factors that people find attractive, like being a good listener or having a bubbly personality. It might help to know that there is a good chance that others see you as 20 per cent more attractive than you think you are.

Avoid comparing yourself to other people. To be bright and sunny, try to feel as confident as possible. Comparing yourself to others will almost always make you feel worse, because most people only compare themselves to people they consider smarter or more attractive than themselves. The truth is that you're probably somewhere closer to the middle.

Try adopting a power pose. Adopting this posture may boost levels of the hormone linked to power and self-confidence, and lower levels of the hormone that causes stress. After striking a power pose, some people experience increased feelings of power and tolerance for risk. Stand tall, with shoulders back and arms extended from the body and your hands on your hips. Hold this position for a minute or two. You don't need to do this in public – you will get the same effects by practicing this pose in private before joining the group.

Focus on your abilities. If you are good at something, learn to do it as well as you can. There are three main types of confidence: intrinsic belief in your self-worth, belief in your ability to do specific things, and belief in your ability to learn and to problem-solve. Gaining confidence in one area will help you feel more confident all around.

Attracting Others

Explore your creative side. Bright and sunny people are often creative, which makes them seem colorful and interesting to others. If you don't have a creative hobby, think about the things you enjoyed as a kid – were you good at art, or music, or dance? Did you like to make up stories, or act them out onstage? Consider taking a class, or joining a group with like interests. Keep track of creative ideas as they come to you – if an idea isn't written down within 24 hours, it is usually forgotten. Be open to the ideas of others. Collaboration is a wonderful way to get your creative juices flowing. Painting and drawing are a couple great ways to be creative.

Express yourself emotionally. Sunny, charismatic people don't hide their feelings, they express them genuinely and spontaneously. Cheerful people seem to “light up the room” when they enter, elevating the mood of everyone around them. This is a very attractive quality to cultivate.

Keep your negative emotions in check. Because emotions and moods are often contagious, be careful not to express your negative emotions every time you are feeling angry or irritable. It's okay to vent to a friend on occasion, but in general try to act cheerful and calm. People will feel more relaxed and comfortable around you, and will seek out your company.

Keep your sense of humor. Bright, sunny people are nearly always judged to have a good sense of humor, which is a very attractive personality trait. A bias toward humorous people shows up in all areas of human interaction, including romantic attraction and success at work. Both men and women value “a sense of humor” in a romantic partner, although they differ in the definition – women tend to be attracted to men who make jokes, whereas men are attracted to women who appreciate his sense of humor and laugh at his jokes.

Take care of yourself. Bright and sunny people tend to have a lot of energy, which comes from being in good physical condition. Exercise and a well-rounded diet result in a “glow” of good health, which most people find very attractive. Taking care of yourself also implies a healthy self-esteem and makes you seem more confident and self-assured.