- Don't over-explain. The more you weave an elaborate excuse, the less believable it's likely to become, not to mention the more challenging it'll be to remember when someone asks you about it in the future.
- Telling the truth can be difficult, but honesty is usually the best policy. Everyone can relate to wanting to cancel plans, so sometimes, no excuse is excuse enough.
- If you're breaking off a get-together with your friends or family, they'll likely understand where you're coming from and forgive you, so try not to worry too much.
You're not feeling well.
With so many illnesses going around, getting sick is a given. Whether it's Covid, the flu, or a common cold, even going to the grocery store is enough to put yourself in the face of some kind of germ you wouldn't want to spread. Make sure you have your story straight before canceling your plans and get ready to fake it 'till you make it. "Hey, I woke up not feeling too hot this morning. I think I'm just going to lie low today. I'm afraid it'll get worse if I don't rest." "So sorry, but I have to cancel our plans. I went out last night and must've eaten something bad. Been throwing up for hours." "I think I caught something at that party the other night. It sounds like some other people got sick too. I'm going to have to reschedule with you."
You have to work late.
People understand that deadlines must be met. Everyone can relate to needing more time to finish something, especially when it comes to work or school assignments, so they shouldn't be too hard on you for needing to cancel to get things done. If you have time before your plans, start by bringing up the big project you've been working on so no one's surprised when you have to bail. "Ah, so sorry to cancel on you last minute, but this project at work is killing me. I thought I would have it done by now, but unfortunately, I don't." "I just got feedback on my essay for (insert class), and I literally have to re-write the entire thing. I'd much rather be with you, but it looks like I can't make it." "My partners aren't getting their work done on the project we've been working on, so I'm going to have to pick up the slack. Sorry to miss you tonight."
You need a mental health break.
Mental health breaks are necessary and expected. If you don’t want to get together with friends and family because you’re overwhelmed, it’s more of the truth than an excuse to tell them so. Sometimes you’ve just got too much going on. “Hey, I’ve got so many things going on right now that I think it’d be best for me if I cancel our plans.” “I’ve been feeling super overwhelmed lately, and it’s really catching up with me today. Can we reschedule for another time instead?” “Hey, I have a lot of anxiety today, and I don’t think I’d be much fun to hang out with. Let’s make plans for when I’m feeling more like myself.”
You don't have transportation.
However you get around, transportation can break down or fall through. It seems to be a cruel fact of life that cars break down and buses are late whenever you need them most, it's inevitable. Why not use this common problem to your advantage? "Hey, I must have left the interior light on or something because when I turned the ignition, my car wouldn't start. Hate to miss you, but I've got to work on getting a new battery." "(Friend/family member) was supposed to give me a ride, but she bailed, and now I'm going to be too late to make it. I asked around, but everyone said no, so it looks like I have to cancel tonight." "Bad news, I got a flat running errands this morning. I'm stuck trying to get a new tire, and it's taking forever. Sorry, but I'll be here for most of the day."
Your family came to visit.
Family always pops in out of nowhere. Friends, in particular, usually understand that family tends to come first on the list of priorities. If you're not feeling up to the plans you've committed to, consider using your family member as an alibi to strengthen your excuse and avoid further questioning. "Hey, my dad just texted me that he's in town and wants to get together tonight. Hate to cancel on you, but I never see him anymore." "My cousin just flew in and surprised us, now the whole family's getting together. I hope you don't mind if I reschedule with you. The whole family hasn't gotten together since before the pandemic started." "Sorry to cancel, but my brother needs me to take care of his sick dog while he's at work. She needs medicine every few hours, and his boss won't let him off."
You have a medical appointment.
Medical appointments sneak up on everyone. Remember that doctor's appointment you booked 6 months ago? Neither do we. Whether it's a dentist appointment, a general check-up, or a second opinion on the weird rash on your foot, doctor's appointments are a reasonable excuse to get you out of your dreaded plans without too many questions. Just remember, if your plans are at night, it won't make sense to have a medical appointment past 5:00 pm unless it's an emergency. "Hey, (your parent, your doctor's office) just reminded me I have a doctor's appointment I completely forgot about. So sorry, but I have to cancel our plans." "I thought I was done with the dentist for at least a few more months, but apparently, I have an appointment to have a cavity filled that I forgot about. Don't worry about drilling me- I've already got that covered." "I don't know if it's stress or what, but I have a rash on my back that I think I'm going to have checked out because it's really bothering me. Hope you don't mind if I reschedule our plans."
You don't have childcare.
Everyone knows you can't leave a child unattended. It's not easy or inexpensive to find someone to watch your child, sibling, or cousin. If you're looking for a good excuse, having to watch a child is usually foolproof. "Hey, my parents are going out tonight and don't have anyone to babysit, so it looks like I'm stuck watching (your sibling). Sorry!" "I can't find anyone to watch (child's name), so I can't go out anymore. I'll make it up to you soon, promise." "Hey, so sorry to break our plans, but my friend had a family emergency and asked if I would watch her son while she sorts things out."
You have a household emergency.
Home issues can happen when you least expect them. Dealing with an urgent household issue is universally loathed, not to mention time-consuming. Remember to keep track of whatever household trouble has popped up at such an inopportune time in case anyone asks you about it in the future. "Absolute disaster here, my sink sprung a leak, and it's starting to flood the kitchen. I'm sorry to cancel, but I've got to get this dealt with asap." "(Whoever you live with) just called me and said I need to be home to wait for the plumber. Apparently, our toilet's clogged. I'd much rather be with you, but unfortunately, life has other plans, haha." "Hey, I'm not going to be able to make it, our sprinklers are going off, and we can't get them to stop."
You injured yourself.
Accidents can happen anytime and will get you sympathy. One minute you're fine, and the next, you've stubbed and broken your toe on the coffee table. The fact is, accidents happen out of nowhere, so you don't have to worry about coming up with an excuse way in advance. Opt for a minor injury so you don't worry anyone, and the lie is easier to maintain. "I tripped on my run this morning and sprained my ankle. Hate to break our plans, but I'll be sitting around with an icepack for the next few days." "I went a little too hard at yoga yesterday and pulled a muscle. I hope you'll forgive me for canceling on you, but I can hardly put pants on without hurting my arm." "Everything was going great until I picked up a two-ton box trying to organize my house today. Totally strained my back. Can we reschedule? I'm out of commission."
You forgot someone's birthday.
Forgetting someone's birthday is a great excuse to break your plans. Darn, you just remembered it's your cousin Jimmy's birthday, and the whole family's going. Guess you have to skip out on your dinner plans. Make sure the person you're canceling on can't figure out the real birthday of whoever you're using as a scapegoat. "My friend hates his birthday, so I didn't think he'd want to do anything, but he just called me upset and alone, so I'm going to go spend the evening with him if that's ok." "I totally forgot it's my grandma's birthday today! I hate to cancel on you, but I'll feel terrible if I don't celebrate with her." "Hey, I guess my family's getting together for my uncle's birthday after all, so I have to reschedule. Wish me luck!"
You've been exposed to an illness.
Nothing will get you out of plans like possibly being contagious. If you don't want to fake an illness but still want to get out of your plans, you can say you were exposed to someone who's not feeling well. Try to add in a rain check for when you make it out unscathed. "Hey, I got my friend from the airport the other night, and she's not feeling too well. I'm worried I might have picked up whatever she has, so I think we should wait for a little before we see each other." "Hate to miss you, but someone at (work, school, etc.) tested positive for covid, so now I have to quarantine for a few days." "Hey, my (friend/family) and I went out last night, and they just texted me that they're feeling super sick. I'm going to wait to see you until they get their test results back just to be safe."
Your friend's feeling down.
Taking care of your loved ones is universally respected. Most people can relate to getting a call from a friend or family member who needs some extra support. If your "friend" isn't doing well and needs you to come over and spend time with them, try to make up for it by being there for your real friends and family when they need you. "Hey, my cousin's going through a rough breakup and wants me to come over. I hope you don't mind, but I want to be there for her since she's really going through it." "My friend's been dealing with a problem, and I think it'd mean a lot to her if I came over and talked things through with her. Can we get together another time instead?" "Hey, my friend's been having some health issues and feeling down. She invited me over because she needs some extra support, I hate to cancel, but I think it's important I be there."
You double-booked yourself.
Everything always happens on the same day. You go weeks without any plans, and suddenly you're committed to doing two things at the same time. Whether you have to cancel on one person for another or just need some alone time, saying you've double-booked yourself is a plausible excuse. Chances are, the person you have plans with wants to get out of them, too! "I feel so bad, but I totally forgot I made plans to get together with my mom for dinner months ago! Can we do something next week instead?" "Do you mind if we cancel our plans? I have a (school, work, etc.) event that came up." "Hey, I know this sounds lame, but the finale of my favorite show comes out tonight, and it's tradition for the whole family to watch it together. Can we reschedule?"
You're broke.
Sometimes, you simply can't afford to go out. Having fun can be expensive, and most people can relate to being low on funds. If the plans you're trying to get out of involve spending money, don't be ashamed to tell them you're broke. Just don't get caught posting to social media if you spend the evening out on the town. "Hey, I'd love to go out to dinner tonight, but I really can't afford it. Let's reschedule for when I get paid next week." "That (activity) is a little out of my budget. I'd love to go, but it's too much for me right now." "I'd love to go shopping with you, but I can't really afford anything, and just looking at stuff makes me depressed."
You just don't feel like going.
Honesty is usually the best policy. Sometimes the stress of worrying about whether you'll get caught in a lie isn't worth it. Being honest means not having to remember the story you'd have used instead. Keep your response simple, and try not to overthink it. "I really don't have it in me right now to get together." "Let's reschedule for another time. I'm super tired and need to catch up on some alone time." "I thought I'd be more enthusiastic about our plans, but I decided I don't really want to go. Can we do something else instead?"
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